Convincing Ourselves
by Ellie603
Summary: When Chandler steps in to rescue Ross and Rachel from a potentially awful situation, he ends up bringing Monica down with him. What was supposed to be just a kiss to sell a story and save their friends may end up having bigger consequences.
1. Part of the Act

_A/N: So this is going to be my first real multi-chapter (and not just two-part) _Friends_ fanfic, and I'm kind of super excited about that. I had actually started working on a completely different fic when I had this idea, and I'm not quite sure if I'm going to try to finish this one first or work on them both at the same time, but we'll see what happens. I had never even considered doing anything at all like this, but I was scrolling through tumblr a couple days ago, and I happened to see a gif set on my dash from "TOW the List" with Phoebe singing her song about Ross having to choose between Rachel and Julie, and I suddenly had this idea (except at that point I had to go to class, and seriously it's impossible to concentrate on statistics when all you want to do is try to figure out the plot of a fanfic). I think this should be pretty fun and pretty different than a lot of the stuff I've done previously, so I really hope you guys like it!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Friends_, but some dialogue is taken from "TOW the List."_

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><p>Phoebe took a seat in front of the microphone in the coffee house, and began to speak, clearly doing some quick thinking. "Okay, um, hi. Hello. Hi! Okay, so, um, this is a song about a love triangle between three people that I made up."<p>

Chandler, sitting in a chair with his back to Phoebe, exchanged glances with Monica on the couch. Of course when asked to sing right after Ross had been talking about having to choose between Rachel and Julie, Phoebe would obviously make up a song about their situation; Phoebe sings about whatever's going on in her life. Chandler wished Ross had thought through his demand for a Buffay guitar performance.

Phoebe kept going. "Um, it's called, um, 'Two of Them Kissed Last Night.'"

Chandler could see Ross and Rachel shifting around uncomfortably. Julie, in contrast, was smiling brightly, evidently perfectly content at Ross's side.

_Well this is gonna be fun,_ Chandler thought to himself, sighing slightly.

Phoebe began to sing. "There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy let's call him Neil."

Ross gave Phoebe a death glare.

"Now I can't stress this point too strongly, this story isn't real," Phoebe continued her song. She went on for a minute or so with a cryptic story about how "Neil" had kissed "Betty," but how there was another girl in Neil's life too.

Chandler saw Ross's expression grow more and more cloudy. Chandler glanced at Monica, who flicked her eyes to Ross and then looked back at him. She took a deep breath, clearly as unsure about how Ross was going to deal with all this as Chandler was.

Finally Phoebe began to finish. "Now our Neil must decide, who will be the girl that he casts aside. Will Betty be the one who he loves truly? Or will it be the one who we'll call… Loolie?"

Chandler shut his eyes and slumped down in his chair, trying to remove himself from the disaster that was going on around him.

"He must decide! He must decide! Even though I made him up, he must decide!" Phoebe finished dramatically.

Everyone in the coffee house clapped politely as Phoebe finished, the gang doing so very tentatively, stealing furtive glances at Ross and Rachel. Julie applauded more enthusiastically than anyone, a big smile still on her face. Phoebe stepped down from the microphone and moved to sit beside Joey on the couch, as Rachel had gotten up in the pretext of actually doing her job.

"That was great, Phoebe!" Julie said enthusiastically as Phoebe sat down.

Phoebe offered her a smile that looked more like a grimace. "Oh, thanks, Julie."

Ross's girlfriend kept grinning at her. "Where do you get song ideas like that from? I mean I know you said it wasn't real, but with that kind of story in a song, were you drawing on past experiences or something like that?"

Chandler saw Rachel would-be-casually moving to a more distant table as Ross leaned back away from Julie.

Phoebe looked slightly panicked. Chandler knew she sometimes cracked when she was under pressure like this.

"Um, well," Phoebe started to say, looking around almost frantically. "It's just, um, well it wasn't real."

Julie nodded her understanding, but continued to press her. "It just seemed like such a lifelike story. How did you come up with it?"

Chandler knew Phoebe was going to give in about a second before it happened.

"Okay! Alright!" Phoebe exclaimed, throwing up her hands. "It was a real story!"

Julie looked surprised. "Really? So who are Neil and Betty? Anyone we know?" She leaned in curiously.

Chandler saw Ross look at Phoebe pleadingly. Rachel moved back toward the couch, apparently holding her breath.

Phoebe's eyes moved around from friend to friend, trying to find a solution.

"Um," Phoebe said slowly, "Neil is–"

"Me!" Chandler broke in suddenly, flailing his arms, as he made a last ditch effort to save his suffering friends. "I'm Neil!"

Julie gasped, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. "It was about _you_?!"

Behind her, Ross and Rachel stared at him, open-mouthed. Phoebe's expression was a mix of gratefulness and surprise, while Joey just looked confused. Monica, however, seemed to be trying as hard as she could to restrain herself from laughing at him.

Chandler sat up straighter, committing himself to his lie. "Yeah, it was about me." He looked at his friends defiantly, Monica in particular, since she was still laughing. "And how I have to pick between two women, both of whom I care very much about, but I can only choose one."

Everyone seemed hesitant to say something except Julie, who looked extremely excited by this "revelation."

"Who are they?" she asked breathlessly.

Chandler paused. He really didn't have two women in his life that he could use for this. He thought for a moment. _Well I mean there's always… _"Janice. I still have feelings for Janice. And I know I have to move on because she's married now, but that's still there."

Julie nodded at him understandingly. The rest of the gang still seemed torn between amusement (Monica) and shock (everyone else) at how far Chandler was going into this. Rachel began haphazardly gathering up dirty mugs on an empty table.

"So, then, who's Betty?" Julie asked, a grin appearing on her face. "Who did you kiss last night?"

Chandler looked around at his friends, searching, trying to come up with some plausible answer. His eyes landed on the dark-haired woman next to him whose eyes were watering with scarcely concealed mirth.

"Monica," Chandler said definitively. "Betty in the song is Monica."

Rachel gave up any pretense of working as she turned and stared at him.

"WHAT?" Julie almost shouted, sitting back.

"What?" Ross repeated his girlfriend's word, his expression seeming to be chastising Chandler for his apparently poor choice of victim.

"Um, what?" Monica said, finally straight-faced as she stared at Chandler, her mouth falling open.

It was her own fault for laughing at him. Chandler gave Monica the closest thing he could to a loving glance. "I know we weren't going to say anything, but I just had to tell Phoebe. You're my Betty, Monica. I'm your Neil."

Chandler was pretty sure Monica was going to murder him.

Julie, on the other hand, looked absolutely thrilled. "I knew there was something going on with you two!" she said excitedly.

Chandler and Monica both stared at her, completely bewildered.

"Huh?" Monica said, voicing Chandler's thoughts on Julie's comment for him.

Julie gave her a knowing smile. "Oh, it's obvious! You're always sitting together, like on the sofa or even on the same chair, and you get along so well. I mean you're basically each other's best friends. You work so well together; it just makes sense!"

Chandler locked eyes with Monica. Now that he thought about it, it kind of _did_ make sense. He had known Monica for years now; Chandler had lived in apartment 19 almost as long as Monica had lived in apartment 20, and of course they had known each other even longer than that. Until Phoebe had moved in with Monica and Kip had moved in with Chandler, he and Monica had hung out, just the two of them, almost all the time. Ross had Carol, so he wasn't around a lot, which had left Chandler and Monica to do a lot of stuff alone. Time had passed, and Phoebe had moved in, Kip had come and gone, to be replaced by Joey, Ross and Carol had gotten divorced, and Rachel had joined the gang, but, through all that, it was still him and Monica – really great friends. Best friends, really, like Julie had said. Chandler was amazed that Ross's girlfriend had picked up on all that about he and Monica's relationship in just the few months she had spent with them. Apparently the closeness that he and Monica had was even visible to outsiders. Chandler wasn't quite sure how he felt about that, and the look he was getting from Monica told him that she didn't know either.

"That _does _make sense!" Joey's voice broke the silence.

Chandler looked away from Monica and up at the rest of his friends. Joey, Phoebe, Rachel and Ross were exchanging nods and thoughtful glances as they evidently worked through what Julie had said.

Chandler looked back at Monica. She was staring at the ground, her face unreadable.

Julie sat up so excitedly it was almost as though she was bouncing. "Well, go on, Chandler! Kiss her! You know this is meant to be!"

Chandler inhaled quickly. He had not signed up for this when he had tried to draw focus away from Ross and Rachel. Those two owed him big time for this. "Um…"

"Yeah, Chandler! Kiss her!" Joey said enthusiastically.

Chandler and Monica simultaneously turned to him, glaring.

Their friend shrunk back on the couch. "Or, um, don't kiss her."

"Isn't this what you guys want?" Julie said, more softly, the excitement in her voice turning into empathy.

Chandler saw Monica glance at Ross and Rachel. They were both looking at Monica and Chandler pleadingly. Chandler got the message: any attention on Monica and Chandler drew attention away from Ross's situation.

Monica spoke finally. "Yeah, it's what we want."

Chandler's eyes grew wide as he stared at his friend, trying to wordlessly ask her if she was sure.

Monica gave a half smile and shrugged slightly, gesturing her head to her brother and her roommate.

Chandler gave half a nod in return. They were doing this for Ross and Rachel.

They both leaned in, Chandler very conscious that all eyes were on them, and after the briefest of pauses, which felt much longer than it was, their lips met.

Chandler had expected alarm bells to go off in his head alerting him to the fact that he was kissing his best friend Monica and that this was wrong, but they never came. It felt almost… normal. Like this was just another thing he and Monica should be doing. It was like sitting close together on the couch or hanging out all the time. Somehow kissing Monica was the next logical step.

He moved a hand into Monica's hair and let the other one rest on her leg. He felt Monica's hands slide up on either side of his face.

Chandler had stopped thinking about Ross's problems or Phoebe's song or anything around them. For all he knew, it was just him and Monica, alone in the world, and, at that moment, that sounded pretty good to him.

There was a not-so-subtle cough from beside them, and he and Monica immediately jumped apart. Chandler averted his gaze. He had just kissed Monica. _Monica_. One of his absolute best friends. And it had been… kind of amazing. Chandler shook his head quickly and looked up to face his friends.

Rachel looked amused. Joey was smiling, though there was some confusion in his eyes. Phoebe was looking at them appraisingly, as though trying to figure them out. Julie was positively beaming, but Ross looked less than thrilled. It was immediately clear to Chandler that it had been his old college roommate who had made the noise that had brought he and Monica back to reality.

Julie looked down at her watch and immediately frowned. "Oh no, I have to get back to work! But this is so amazing! I'm so happy for you guys!" She stood up, kissed Ross quickly and then hugged Monica and Chandler before rushing out the door.

The gang watched her go, fake smiles plastered on their faces until the door shut behind her. Then everyone turned to Chandler.

"I'm your_ Betty_?" Monica got started on him immediately. "Seriously? You had to drag _me_ into this weird thing you made up?"

Chandler put his hands up to defend himself. "Hey! You were laughing at me; it served you right. I did what I did to take the pressure off Phoebe and save _you guys_," he gestured at Ross and Rachel, "from having Julie find out about stuff she doesn't need to know so you two can work through this. I saved the day here, so you all need to stop looking at me like that!" Chandler was referring to the critical stares he was receiving from the rest of the gang.

Phoebe relented first. "Thanks for doing that Chandler. Who knows what I would have said if you hadn't interrupted me."

At Phoebe's words, Joey frowned slightly and shrugged, removing his gaze from Chandler's face.

Rachel nodded too, mouthing "thanks" at him before moving to finish clearing the table she had been working on before.

Ross finally shook his head. "Okay, thank you. But seriously, dude, don't go kissing my sister like that."

"All part of the act, Ross," Chandler responded quickly. "Had to be convincing." At this, Chandler checked his watch too and discovered that he also had to go. "Gotta head back to work. I'll see you all later then." He nodded at the rest of the gang, Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey waving at him in response.

Monica, however, didn't acknowledge his leaving. She was still staring at him, searchingly, her expression almost confused. Chandler, who was usually so good at reading Monica, had no idea what she was thinking. Their eyes met for the briefest of instants, and Chandler saw something like uncertainty behind them.

But Chandler had to go, so he turned and exited the coffee house. As he made his way down the street, he thought about what he had said to Ross, that kissing Monica like he had was "all part of the act." He was pretty sure that his response had been convincing enough for the rest of the group, but, at this point, Chandler wasn't too convinced by it himself.

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><p><em>AN: Thanks so much for reading, and reviews are amazing! I'll try to have the next chapter up soon._


	2. Losing Focus

_A/N: This took a bit longer to write than I wanted it to, but I'm really happy I finally got this chapter done. It's been kind of tough actually finding time to type stuff out, but the margins of my econ and stats notes from the past few days are definitely covered with outlines for this chapter, so at least I've gotten to put a lot of thought into everything._

_Seriously, thank you guys so much for all the amazing reviews and favorites and follows on the first part of this. They seriously mean the world to me, and I really can't thank you all enough. I hope this chapter lives up to expectations. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Friends_, but some dialogue is taken from "TOW the List."_

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><p>Monica's eyes followed Chandler as he turned and walked out of the coffee house. She didn't know how to feel. She had been extremely amused by Chandler's attempts to convince Julie that Phoebe's song had been about him, and then she had been ready to kill him for dragging her into his horribly crafted lie. But Julie had said immediately that Monica and Chandler made sense together, and the weird thing was that she was right. She and Chandler<em> did<em> kind of work together. They always had.

But Monica could have looked past even Julie's statement if it hadn't been for that kiss. That _kiss_. Monica had kissed a decent number of guys in her life, but this one had been different. This one had been Chandler. And this one had been - she hesitated to even think it – pretty close to perfect.

Monica turned back to her friends. Rachel was wiping down tables, while Ross stared blankly in front of him, a dead look in his eyes. Phoebe was patting his arm in an apparent attempt to console him.

Sitting between her and Phoebe, Joey turned to Monica grinning, his eyebrows raised. "That was some kiss, Monica. You have one like that for me?" He leaned in, but Monica put her hand out to push his face away.

"Shut up, Joey," she said, annoyed. "Like Chandler said, we had to be convincing."

Joey tilted his head toward her and gestured outward with his hand as if to say "whatever". "Well, if you ever need to be convincing again, you know where to find me."

Monica rolled her eyes at her friend as she turned back to the newspaper she had been looking through before Ross had come in and all the drama had started. What she needed to be doing was finding a job, not thinking about Chandler and that stupid kiss. _It meant nothing,_ Monica told herself. _Absolutely nothing. _That's what Chandler had told Ross. "All part of the act," he'd said. That was the end of it.

But it _wasn't_ the end of it. Monica let the paper fall into her lap as she stared, unseeing, at the coffee table in front of her. When Monica had locked eyes with Chandler just before he left, she had seen an uncertainty in them that matched her own. She was sure then that he had lied to Ross about the kiss being just for the sake of his story. He hadn't needed to kiss her like he had, and, as she thought about, Monica hadn't needed to kiss him back like she had either. It had just happened. And Monica knew she'd be lying to herself if she said there wasn't at least a tiny part of her that wanted to do it again. But it was Chandler! How had kissing _Chandler_ made that much sense? She just didn't get it.

Monica sighed, upset and confused.

At her sigh, Ross, Phoebe, and Joey looked over at her curiously.

"What's up, Monica?" Phoebe asked in a tone that hinted that she might know what Monica was thinking about.

Monica shook her head to snap herself out of whatever this sitting around and thinking about Chandler thing was. "Oh, um," Monica looked down at the newspaper as she grasped at an acceptable answer, "I'm just having so much trouble finding a job."

Her friends offered her sympathetic nods, but Phoebe's eyes glinted at Monica, and Monica knew that her friend hadn't been convinced by her half-lie about work.

Monica's eyes again turned to the newspaper, this time actually reading the words on the pages in front of her. Her eyes landed on an ad that read "WANTED: Chefs to assist in launch of new product." The very non-descriptive ad was followed by the name of a company that Monica had never heard of and a phone number. She didn't know what this was about, but she was a chef, and she needed money.

She turned to Ross, Phoebe, and Joey who were discussing Ross's problems in hushed whispers due to Rachel's close proximity.

"I'm gonna head back to the apartment and make a few calls about a job," Monica told her friends as she stood up. "I'll see you guys later."

"Bye," Ross and Joey each replied, Ross sounding very sullen.

"Actually, I'm gonna head out too," Phoebe said, removing the guitar strap from her neck and standing up to follow Monica.

Monica knew that some form of questioning from Phoebe was coming for her once they left the coffee house.

She and Phoebe waved to Rachel as they left, Monica adding a "I'll see you at home," to her friend.

As soon as the pair made their way onto the sidewalk and the door closed behind them, Phoebe turned to Monica. "So," she started. "You and Chandler."

Monica shook her head as they walked over to her building. "There is no 'me and Chandler.'" Monica waved her hands out for emphasis. "It was nothing. Just one stupid kiss to save Ross and Rachel."

Phoebe looked at her skeptically. "You don't believe that, and I don't think Chandler does either. Two people don't kiss like that when it's 'nothing.'"

Monica stopped by the entrance to her building. "Seriously Phoebe. It wasn't anything. I mean it was _Chandler_. Come on. Nothing could ever happen with me and _Chandler_." She added a laugh to emphasize how outrageous the idea was.

Phoebe shook her head. "I don't know. Julie was kind of right; you two do make sense together." She stopped and sighed slightly. "But I'll drop it if that's what you want."

"That's what I want," Monica said vehemently. "Thanks, Pheebs."

Her friend smiled and hugged her goodbye as Monica turned and started to walk up the steps to her apartment.

A couple minutes later, Monica sat down on her sofa and called the number from the ad. She was asked to come in the next morning with her resume for an interview.

As Monica hung up the phone, she sighed. Not too long ago all she had to worry about was Ross's relationship drama and finding a job, but now she had this whatever it was with Chandler that she didn't want to think about to add to the list. _I just need to focus on tomorrow's interview,_ Monica told herself as she got up from the sofa, trying to push any thoughts of her sarcastic friend from her mind.

Monica was able to avoid thinking about the events of the afternoon for the rest of the evening as she made dinner and listened to Rachel talk about Ross and Julie and what was going to happen with them. Monica was fairly certain that Ross was spending the evening thinking things over at his place, but she was just happy that Chandler and Joey didn't show up at her and Rachel's apartment. She let Rachel talk for as long as she wanted, needing something to keep her mind occupied. By the time the pair finally went to bed, Monica was so tired that she went straight to sleep without another thought.

The next morning, Monica woke up with her mind a mix of thoughts about her job interview and Ross and Rachel's situation. For the briefest of moments her mind turned to Chandler, but instantly she halted that train of thought, focusing on making her and Rachel breakfast and picking out an outfit for the interview.

When she finally returned from the interview several hours later, Ross and Rachel's problems, let alone Chandler, were the last things on her mind. She had to come up with some Thanksgiving themed recipes using Mockolate, a horrifically bad chocolate substitute that didn't even have FDA approval.

Phoebe arrived almost as soon as she got back, and, after Monica explained the situation to her friend, the two sat at the kitchen table as Monica tried to come up with Thanksgiving-y recipe ideas that could use Mockolate instead of chocolate. She started cooking several different dessert possibilities even as she asked Phoebe for opinions on other Mockolate dishes.

Rachel came home a bit later and immediately asked if Ross had called and then launched into an anti-Julie rant after learning that he hadn't. Monica was sympathetic. She wanted Rachel to be with her brother as much as Rachel did, and she was just a bit annoyed at Julie for asking Phoebe about her song the day before, since that had led to the incident with Chandler.

Phoebe, clearly wanting to help take Rachel's mind off Ross, began to tell them about some weird guy she had come across on the subway when she was going home the day before.

Monica continued with her baking, and soon the entire apartment was filled with the smells of cake, pie, and cookies. She was gradually getting used to the very unusual taste and texture of the Mockolate, and she just hoped that the desserts would turn out okay.

She finally set the fruits of her labor down in front of Rachel and Phoebe an hour or so later so they could try them, but after one bite of a cookie each, the Mockolate proved a total failure. Monica tried a bit of everything she had made, but there was no way around it: Mockolate was a disaster.

"Back to the drawing board then," she said, sighing. She opened the fridge. "And we're out of eggs. I wonder if Chandler and Joey have any." As she said Chandler's name, all the uncertainty from the day before came flooding back to her. She had been able to block it out all day by focusing on Mockolate, but now that she was done with the first wave of cooking, her mind went right back to Chandler.

"I'll go ask them for you, Mon," Rachel volunteered, getting up from the table.

"Oh, thank you," Monica said, too gratefully.

Phoebe quickly picked up on Monica's tone and raised her eyebrows at her. But true to her word from the day before, Phoebe didn't make any mention of Chandler as Rachel left the apartment.

After several minutes, the apartment door opened, but it was Ross who entered, not Rachel. He grinned hugely at Monica and Phoebe when he saw them.

"I just broke up with Julie," he said, a slightly sad edge to his voice, "so me and Rachel are getting together." At Rachel's name, all traces of sadness left his voice. "I'm getting her coat so we can go for a walk."

Monica could tell that Ross was incredibly happy, despite his slightly subdued attitude. He had just broken up with a great girlfriend, and she could tell he was still slightly in shock that everything was working out. She knew that after being with Rachel for a while he would act more excited, so she wasn't worried.

"That's so great, Ross!" Monica said happily, getting up from the table where she had been pondering the barely eaten Mockolate desserts. She gave her brother a hug, which he returned.

After a hug from Phoebe as well, Ross exited the apartment to go get Rachel.

"That's so great that this is all working out for them," Monica said to Phoebe, as she smiled in the direction of the door Ross had just exited.

"Yeah!" Phoebe agreed, also smiling. "Today's a good day."

Monica nodded in response. "I bet Rachel's so excited. She's been waiting for this for weeks." She sighed wistfully. "My brother and Rachel Green. Who would have ever guessed _that _would actually happen?"

Phoebe laughed in response. "I'm sure Ross would have been all for it."

"That's definitely true," Monica agreed, shaking her head. "I can't wait to hear what my parents have to say about this. They've known Rachel for ages."

Phoebe's face fell slightly, as she seemed to suddenly realize something. "I hope Julie didn't take the break up too hard. She and Ross were together for a while."

Monica shrugged noncommittally. "I'm sure she'll be fine. She's sweet; she'll find someone."

"I guess so," Phoebe agreed, nodding.

Monica turned back to the refrigerator and suddenly realized that she still didn't have any eggs since Rachel had never returned. "Oh…" she said under her breath.

"What?" Phoebe asked, looking over at her.

"Rachel didn't bring back any eggs from Chandler and Joey's," she informed her friend.

Phoebe raised her eyebrows at Monica. "And that's a problem, why? You can go ask them for some."

Monica sunk into the chair across from Phoebe. "Come on, Phoebe. I'm sure you know that I don't really want to face Chandler right now."

Phoebe grinned at her. "I did know that, but I just wanted you to say it. Any particular _reason_ you don't want to face Chandler?"

Monica rolled her eyes. "It has _nothing_ to do with me feeling anything for him," she said emphatically, trying to get her friend to listen to her. "I just haven't seen him since everything happened yesterday, and it might be kind of weird. I'd rather wait to see him when we're all together at the coffee house or something. You can understand that, can't you?"

Phoebe frowned slightly and finally shrugged. "Okay, Monica. Whatever you say. Either way though, you need to get some eggs."

"Can't you go ask?" Monica pleaded to her friend.

"Eh," Phoebe answered, shrugging again. "I don't really need any eggs right now."

"What a great friend," Monica responded sarcastically, shaking her head as she stood up. _I guess I can see Chandler, _she thought to herself. _What's the worst that can happen? It's a little awkward? I can deal with that._

Monica began to make her way out of the apartment, but shouting coming from the hallway stopped her.

The voices were muffled by the door, but Monica could tell that it was Ross and Rachel arguing.

She heard Ross say something about "Julie's column," and Rachel reply with a couple phrases ending in what sounded like "Rachem," at which point Monica and Phoebe exchanged confused glances.

The apartment door opened, and Rachel walked inside, the coat that Ross had come to get for her was clutched to her chest along with a single sheet of white paper. She closed and locked the door behind her, as Ross continued to shout after her.

"No, no, no. It's, it's 'she's not Rachel!'" Ross's voice came through the door. "She's not…" He trailed off. "Rachel?"

"What happened, Rachel?" Monica asked, stepping cautiously toward her friend.

Rachel didn't speak, but instead shook her head and thrust the piece of paper out toward Monica.

Monica took it and began to read, Phoebe standing up to peer at the words over her shoulder.

She and Phoebe read through the column labeled "Rachel" first, and then turned to the one labeled "Julie," which read simply "she's not Rachem," which Monica took to mean "she's not Rachel."

Monica shook her head slowly back and forth. This wasn't the most horrible thing Ross could have ever done, but it was just so stupid. Why would making a list like this ever have sounded like a good idea to him? Monica could easily understand why Rachel was so upset. "Just a waitress"… what had Ross been thinking?

Monica pulled Rachel into a hug. "I'm so sorry, Rachel. Ross is a complete idiot."

"He really is," Phoebe agreed, joining the hug.

Monica pulled back slightly. "You want to talk about it?"

A few tears were sliding slowly down Rachel's cheeks. She shook her head. "I think I just wanna be alone for a while."

Monica and Phoebe nodded their understanding.

"Coffee house?" Phoebe asked Monica.

"Okay," Monica replied. "You'll be okay, Rach?" she asked her friend.

Rachel nodded and walked to sit down in the living room.

Monica and Phoebe grabbed their coats and umbrellas and left the apartment. As they opened the door, they found Ross still standing in the hallway.

"Rach-" he started to say, moving into the doorway, but Monica pushed him back into the hall.

"I think you need to leave her alone right now, Ross," Monica said, her expression blank. "You are really _really_ stupid."

The door across the hall opened, and Chandler and Joey poked their heads out.

"Is it safe to leave yet?" Chandler asked, half sarcastic, half serious.

Monica started for a moment upon seeing Chandler for the first time since the "Betty and Neil" kissing incident at the coffee house the day before, but it only took a second for her to be able to refocus on the situation at hand.

"That list was typed up on a computer, and if I recall, _someone_ was very excited about his new computer yesterday," Monica glared accusatorily at Chandler. "Both of you – coffee house. Now," she ordered at the two men half hiding behind their apartment door. Then she turned to Ross. "And _you_ just need to get out of here."

Ross nodded dispiritedly, his head hanging. "I just can't believe I messed this up already."

No one responded to his statement.

Chandler and Joey disappeared into their apartment for a moment and reappeared a few seconds later wearing rain appropriate attire and carrying umbrellas.

All five of them made their way down to the street almost silently, their feet and Ross's periodical sighs the only sources of noise in the stairwell.

Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Chandler opened their umbrellas and turned to head to the coffee house, as Ross announced that he was going to take a walk.

Chandler offered him his umbrella. "Try not to get too wet, buddy."

Ross nodded, taking the umbrella from Chandler, his frown clouding his face as he walked off in the direction opposite to that of the coffee house.

Chandler turned to Monica. "Mind sharing?" He glanced at her umbrella.

Monica rolled her eyes slightly at her friend, but handed him the umbrella so he, as the taller of the two, could hold it over them both.

As they walked to the short distance to the coffee house, Monica couldn't help but focus on Chandler's close proximity to her. She tried to keep as far away from him as she could while still remaining under the umbrella.

She saw Chandler look down at her quickly and then move the slightest bit away from her. Apparently she wasn't the only one apprehensive about their current walking situation.

Monica suddenly realized just how upsetting this situation was to her. Things hadn't been awkward between her and Chandler for years and years: not since a bit after the second Thanksgiving he had spent with her and Ross's family, when she had accidently cut off part of Chandler's toe. She hated the feeling of not being able to be completely comfortable around her friend. As she walked into the coffee house, Chandler holding the door open for her, she resolved to figure out whatever this was so everything could go back to normal between them.

As she took a seat on the orange couch, she shook her head to turn her attention back to the matter at hand: Ross's stupid list.

Chandler and Phoebe joined her on the couch, Chandler sitting next to Monica with an uncertain glance, while Joey took the armchair beside them.

"So," Monica began. "How did this happen?"

Chandler and Joey launched into their story of how Ross had made been making pros and cons lists for Rachel and Julie, and how he decided to break up with Julie because his con for her was "she's not Rachel." And then they explained how Rachel had gotten excited when Ross went to get her coat, and how she'd seen the list open on Chandler's computer and asked about it because she saw her name.

Chandler put his face in his hands at this point as he began to tell Monica and Phoebe about how his printer had finally started working and had, of course, printed out the list right when he closed the computer. Sinking further into his seat, Chandler continued with how Ross had come back and then decided to say the paper was a short story that Chandler had been writing, which Chandler had affirmed and then "read" out loud, at which point, Rachel had finally had enough, so she had stolen the paper from Chandler and had read what was actually on it.

"And you know what happened from there…" Chandler finally finished, trailing off, staring straight ahead.

"You said it was a _short story _you'd been working on?" Monica raised her eyebrows at him, partly amused.

"Well Ross said it, technically," Chandler corrected, and then looked sheepishly down into his lap. "But yeah." Then he looked up and sat forward suddenly, as though realizing something. "My diary!" he said, more to Joey than anyone else. "My diary, that's brilliant! I should have told her it was my diary. She never would have made me read her my diary!"

"No, that's true," Monica replied. "You know, you'd be a great person to have around the day _after_ an emergency." She patted Chandler's leg in a partial show of sympathy. "You've really told some great lies these past couple days," she added quietly so only Chandler could hear her.

She felt Chandler start slightly at her touch and her casual mention of the situation at the coffee house the day before. He glanced at her, and she met his gaze. But Phoebe began speaking, interrupting the moment, and they turned away from each other.

"I, I cannot believe Ross even made this list," Phoebe said, shaking her head.

"I know," Monica agreed, trying to not think about Chandler next to her.

"What a dinkus," Phoebe summed up Ross's character at the moment perfectly.

"Hey, cut him some slack," Joey said, defending Ross. "It was Chandler's idea."

"What?" Monica and Phoebe asked simultaneously, both turning to glare at the man in between them.

Chandler folded his arms and shrunk down into his seat. "Oh good. I was hoping that would come up."

"This was your idea?" Monica began yelling at him as Phoebe threw in a "what were you thinking?"

"Alright," Chandler stopped them both, trying to defend himself. "Let's get some perspective here, okay? These things, they happen for a reason."

"Yeah,_ you_!" Monica retorted, frustrated with her stupid friend.

Chandler's eyes locked with hers as he wordlessly tried to get her to sympathize with him.

Monica wasn't having any of it. She glared at Chandler until he finally looked away, trying to get support from Phoebe.

"Okay, Pheebs. Back me up here. You believe in that karma crap, don't you?"

Phoebe nodded in response, but went on. "Listen, by the way, good luck in your next life as a dung beetle."

Monica cringed slightly at Phoebe's choice of animal.

The four of them sat around in silence for a few more minutes, considering the terrible situation Ross and Rachel were in, until Phoebe finally suggested they go back to the apartment to see how Rachel was doing and if Ross had come back.

Monica offered Chandler her umbrella wordlessly as they headed back out into the rain.

Chandler accepted it with the smallest of smiles.

Monica smiled back slightly in return to let him know that she wasn't really mad at him. Yeah, she thought he was an idiot, but he was still Chandler, and she could never really be mad at Chandler.

They arrived back at the apartment to find Ross out on the balcony, paying no attention to the rain as he shouted his list of "Rachel pros" through the glass at Rachel… who was nowhere to be seen.

Chandler let him in through the window, and Ross immediately ran to Rachel's door, begging and pleading for her to let him be with her.

Monica, Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe stood together at the edge of the kitchen through Ross's pleas and eventually his and Rachel's discussion when she finally opened her bedroom door.

Monica and Chandler exchanged glances. They were obviously intruding on something that should be private, but they couldn't really do anything about it, especially after Rachel insisted that they stay.

After several minutes it was finally over. Rachel was back in her room, and Ross was sitting, soaking wet, on the coffee table looking utterly heartbroken.

Joey started to speak after a few seconds, but Ross silenced him with a glare. Almost a full minute later, Monica timidly suggested that Ross go and put some dry clothes on.

"You can borrow something of mine," Joey intoned, gesturing for Ross to come back with him across the hall.

As soon as they left, Phoebe said she was going to go check on Rachel, and she quickly slipped away.

Monica and Chandler were left alone in the kitchen.

"This is all my fault," Chandler said leaning back against the sofa and putting his head in his hands.

Monica laughed at her friend softly, moving closer to him. "It's not totally your fault," she said, rubbing his arm to comfort him. "Ross didn't have to take your stupid advice. He should have known better. And he's the one who came up with that dumb short story lie too. This isn't on you."

Chandler looked up at her and offered her a sad half smile. "You think those two are ever gonna be okay?"

Monica shrugged. "I hope so, but who knows. Rachel seems like she isn't gonna budge on this, but maybe something could still happen." She sighed. "I thought they'd be really good together though, you know?" She joined Chandler leaning against the back of the couch.

"I know." Chandler nudged her gently with his arm. "And I'm sorry about yesterday. I shouldn't have dragged you into that mess with Phoebe and Julie and the song. That was my own stupid decision to make that story up, and I really need to stop bringing other people down with me when I have dumb ideas."

Monica laughed, shaking her head. "I think the list thing is way worse than anything that happened yesterday."

Chandler nodded in agreement, grimacing. "Today has _not_ been a good day for me." His expression turned thoughtful. "So, we're all good, _Betty_?" he asked, smirking, as he used the name from Phoebe's song the day before.

Monica rolled her eyes at him. "We're all good, _Neil_."

Chandler laughed and high-fived her.

"I'm gonna go see how Ross is, and you should probably go talk to Rach," he said, moving toward the door.

"Yeah," Monica agreed. "I'll see you later."

"See you." Chandler left the apartment.

Monica stood alone in the kitchen for a moment. Everything seemed like it was back to normal with Chandler, but somehow she felt like things could never go completely back to how they were before. She'd always still have that memory of that kiss, imperfect only in the fact that it hadn't lasted longer, and there would always be that little voice in the back of her mind telling her that something about Chandler just made sense with her. But she could ignore all that. This was _Chandler _after all. That voice in her head was just her reading too far into that one weird situation.

Besides, she shook herself out of her Chandler filled thoughts, she had a friend in the next room who was having a horrible day, a brother who was a complete idiot, and, she suddenly realized, a cooking assignment that required her to use an ingredient that she was pretty sure could actively ruin any food she tried to put it in. Monica was pretty sure that she had more than enough to deal with at the moment; she could live without thinking about Chandler like that.

Or at least that's what she told herself.

* * *

><p><em>AN: Thanks so much for reading, and please leave a review! The next chapter should be up sometime next week!_


	3. Changes

_A/N: I'm so so sorry about how long I took to write this chapter. I've had a couple pretty busy weeks at school, and, up until this weekend, things were a little crazy. But I finished all my work early tonight just so I could finally get this up. My schedule for the rest of this week doesn't look too bad, so, if I can get my act together, I'll hopefully be able to get another chapter up before my midterms next week._

_Thank you all so much for the amazing reviews on the first two chapters. You guys are amazing, and I'm really glad you're enjoying the story so far. I hope you all like this part too._

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Friends_, but some dialogue is taken from "TOW Phoebe's Dad" and "TOW Russ."_

* * *

><p>Several weeks had gone by since Chandler and Monica's conversation and agreement that everything was okay between them. Chandler had purposely not brought up the kiss itself during their conversation, and he had appreciated Monica not talking about it either. Yeah, it had been one amazing kiss, and, sure, <em>maybe<em> he and Monica technically made sense together, but none of that mattered. He and Monica were really great friends, and that was it. End of discussion.

Joey had asked him about Monica and the kiss right after Chandler had come home from work on the day of the "incident," but Chandler had done his best to brush everything off and repeat what he had said to Ross about how the kiss and everything was just for show to save Ross and Rachel. Joey had accepted his answer, but added as an afterthought that he thought Chandler and Monica would be good together. That idea had drifted around through Chandler's mind the rest of that night, and so he had deliberately avoided crossing the hall and going to the girl's apartment until the list controversy the next day made seeing Monica imperative. Later that next day he and Monica had finally had their conversation, and, even with Joey's comment planted in his head, everything had generally gone back to normal. Chandler made sarcastic comments, Monica got mad at him; all was right in the world.

At the same time, things were almost unnoticeably different between them, though Chandler would never consciously realize anything until he and Monica were separated. For whatever reason, he and Monica were somehow spending even more time with each other than before. They had always been close - sitting beside each other on the couch or in the same chair, exchanging glances whenever any of their friends did something stupid - but now it seemed to be happening more and more. Partially because of what Julie had said, Chandler had begun to realize just how "couple-y" they looked to outsiders. Chandler knew that he should rationally be taking this as a reason to distance himself from Monica, but it hadn't worked out like that. She was his best friend who he just wanted to spend time with. And it seemed like she felt the same way about him. It didn't make a ton of sense, but Chandler just let it happen. Besides, Christmas was coming up, and there was always some sort of drama going on with the group, so it wasn't too difficult for Chandler to focus on other things.

Like the thrilling saga that was Ross and Rachel's situation.

Around lunchtime on December 23rd, Chandler walked into the coffee house and found Joey in a chair sipping coffee as Monica sat on the couch flipping through a magazine. He greeted his friends and sat down beside Monica, turning so his back was against the arm of the couch and picking his legs up so they laid across Monica's lap. She didn't comment on his choice of seat as she lifted up her arms so they could rest on top of Chandler's legs. Chandler grabbed his own magazine and began to read, thinking for the briefest of moments that he would never sit like this with Phoebe or Rachel and that Monica would have never let Joey get away with putting his legs across her lap. But this was him and Monica. This was normal.

"I can't believe it's Christmas already!" Joey said pensively. "You know, I mean one day you're eating turkey, and the next thing you know your lords are a-leaping and your geese are a-laying!"

Monica smiled at Joey for a moment before going back to her magazine.

Chandler didn't even look up from his magazine as he made his reply. "Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year."

Monica glanced over at him, rolling her eyes slightly as Chandler flashed her a small smile.

Ross entered the coffee house and, after greeting Chandler, Monica, and Joey, he went straight to the counter to talk to Rachel.

Chandler and Monica both watched Ross and Rachel's conversation, each of them trying to look as though they weren't staring at their friends across the coffee house.

Monica turned slightly to meet Chandler's eyes. He frowned and shook his head slightly. Both of them were in complete agreement that they wanted Ross and Rachel to work out all this stupid stuff and just finally be together. But if the way Ross and Rachel's conversation was going over at the counter was any indication, that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

After a couple minutes, Ross gave up trying to talk to Rachel and sat down in the chair on the opposite side of the couch from Joey. "Hey guys."

"Hey," the rest of the group replied.

Chandler lifted his legs off Monica's lap and swiveled around to sit normally so he and Monica could slide over and talk to Ross.

Ross started showing the rest of the gang some of the Christmas presents he had bought while shopping that day. A picture frame for his parents from Ben. Hers and Hers towels for Carol and Susan. And an absolutely hideous blouse for his mom.

Chandler knew this was a perfect opportunity for a comment, and he was pleased when Monica took it.

"Ross! That is gorgeous! Look at these authentic fake medals! I'll tell you, Mom's gonna be voted Best Dressed at the Make-Believe Military Academy!"

Chandler grinned appreciatively. Sarcastic comments might have been his thing, but Monica was pretty good at them too.

Phoebe entered and, after an awkward conversation, the gang discovered that Phoebe's grandmother had lied to her about the identity of her father. As she rushed out, the entire group sobered. Whatever was going on in any of their lives was nothing compared to what was happening with Phoebe.

The next day, Chandler and Joey made the journey out with Phoebe so she could see her dad, since her grandmother had finally come clean to her about his identity. After hours of debating in front of the address she had been given by her grandmother, Phoebe finally decided that she didn't want to see him at all. Chandler and Joey supported her completely, but the amount of time they had spent sitting in the car in front of Phoebe's dad's house had meant that the pair hadn't gotten to do any of their Christmas shopping and that they had completely missed the Christmas party Monica had thrown back at the apartment. Chandler didn't mind any of it very much. He and Joey got to pick out presents for everyone at the gas station, which had ended up being pretty fun, and he knew that he would rather spend time with just the rest of the gang than with other people they didn't know as well.

When they finally made it back to the building, midnight, and Christmas day, were quickly approaching.

"Ho ho ho-ly crap is it hot in here!" Chandler said as he walked into somehow sauna-like apartment ahead of Joey and Phoebe.

Joey asked if he could turn down the heat, and Monica gave him a rude reply, which clearly meant that they'd already tried that.

As Phoebe explained to Ross, Rachel, and Monica what had happened with her dad, Chandler looked down at his watch.

"Hey! Guys! It's after midnight!" he said excitedly. "Merry Christmas everyone!" He smiled widely and walked into the living room. Instantly Monica hugged Rachel, and Ross hugged Phoebe, leaving Chandler with no one. Typical.

Monica looked up from Rachel after a second and saw Chandler standing there, forlorn. She laughed slightly and shook her head, standing up.

She turned to him and pulled him into a hug. "Merry Christmas, Chandler," she said softly.

Chandler wrapped his arms around her tightly. "Merry Christmas, Monica."

"Hey Monica," Joey interrupted their moment from the kitchen. "The knob was broken, so I just turned it off from underneath; I hope that's alright."

Chandler's hand remained on Monica's back as she, Ross, and Rachel turned to stare at their friend who had started eating some of the food leftover from the party. Chandler had to laugh.

As the apartment returned to normal temperature, the gang began to exchange gifts, Chandler and Joey going last with their gas station purchased presents.

Phoebe seemed thrilled with her toilet seat covers, but the same could not be said for everyone else. Chandler was pretty sure Monica was going to kill him and Joey when they handed her a pack of condoms.

As the gathering wrapped up and they each started to get their things together, Chandler nudged Monica and softly offered her an apology for the lack of a real present.

In response, she shook her head and rolled her eyes at him, but Chandler could tell that she appreciated him saying that.

Chandler wasn't quite sure what had made him apologize to Monica when he just let it go with Rachel, Ross and Phoebe. He almost felt like maybe Monica's opinion mattered more to him than anyone else's, but, even if that was the case, he had no idea why.

* * *

><p>A few days later, Chandler discovered that he had missed more than burning to death by not attending Monica and Rachel's Christmas party. Apparently Monica had reconnected with an old boyfriend, Fun Bobby, at the get-together, and so, just before New Years, the two started dating again.<p>

After hearing the news, Chandler immediately felt upset. He was completely unsure as to why it bothered him so much, but he still had to force a smile when Monica casually told him about it one day as they were sitting around the coffee house.

Chandler was confused. He loved Fun Bobby! They all loved Fun Bobby! He was, hands down, everyone's favorite ex-boyfriend of Monica's, so Chandler knew he should be happy that Fun Bobby was back in their lives. But he wasn't. He wasn't exactly sad or angry, he just… didn't want Fun Bobby around Monica.

_Am I _jealous? Chandler realized with a start a few days later as he thought about it. _But that doesn't even make sense! I don't even _like_ Monica that way. It was just one kiss! _He figured the best course of action was for him to ignore anything he was feeling and just act like he always did around Fun Bobby. Besides, Fun Bobby was a great guy, and Monica was way better off with him than with any of the other guys she'd ever dated.

And, as usual, someone else in the group was having problems so Chandler could focus on that. This time it was Joey, who had received terrible reviews for his performance in his most recent play and was seriously rethinking his career choice.

"Well, was there anything else you ever wanted to be?" Rachel asked Joey as she hugged him, rocking him back and forth trying to make him feel better.

"I don't know," Joey replied dejectedly. "When I was little I wanted to be a veterinarian, but then I found out that you have to put your hands into cows and stuff!"

Before anyone could respond, Ross entered the apartment and told the rest of the group about the stegosaurus at the museum that had fallen and trapped a kid before he noticed Fun Bobby's jacket.

"Wha-what? I know this jacket! Fun Bobby's jacket!" Ross nearly shouted, clearly excited. "Where is he? What? He's here isn't he?"

"Maybe," Monica said grinning hugely.

Chandler's smile at Ross's stegosaurus story dimmed at Monica's expression. Apparently _she_ had no weird feelings about dating Fun Bobby.

Ross finally saw Fun Bobby, and the pair greeted each other excitedly.

"I was so psyched to hear you're back with my sister!" Ross said happily.

"You and me both," Monica replied, still smiling at her boyfriend.

Fun Bobby, as usual, tried to get Joey to feel better by literally picking him up and bouncing him around.

Joey finally started laughing, and Fun Bobby put him down.

"Okay! Now, before I go, does anybody else need to be picked up?" Fun Bobby asked.

Monica, Phoebe, Rachel, and Ross's arms instantly flew into the air.

Chandler, instead, gestured his hands out in front of him to say that he really didn't want to be part of what was going on.

"I'm still gonna go," Fun Bobby said, grinning, as he headed for the door.

"Okay," Monica said, following him. "I'll see you later, babe."

"Public display of affection coming up," Fun Bobby announced to the rest of the group. "You can avert your eyes."

Chandler and Joey, characteristically, continued staring at Monica and Fun Bobby anyway until Rachel pushed their faces away.

Chandler couldn't help but feel slightly smug as his eyes left his friend and her new boyfriend. Even though he'd only seen a second of it, he knew that whatever kiss Fun Bobby had just given Monica was nothing compared to he and Monica's kiss at the coffee house. He wasn't quite sure why it mattered, but it was still true.

After Monica's oh-so-popular boyfriend left the apartment, the group quickly came to the realization that Fun Bobby might have a drinking problem.

Monica tried to cover for him. "We just happen to go to a lot of places where you might drink! I mean, how do you go to wine tasting without having a drink? Or to a club? Or to the… zoo…" Monica trailed off.

Joey and Rachel raised their eyebrows as Phoebe shook her head. Ross reached out and hugged his sister, patting her back consolingly.

"You're gonna have to talk to him about it, Mon," Phoebe said as she cleared off the table. "This seems like it's a real problem."

"Pheebs is right," Ross agreed. "You've got to help him out."

Monica nodded, glumly. "Yeah, I know. I'll bring it up when I see him tomorrow."

Everyone nodded in agreement, and they let the subject drop.

Chandler had stayed silent through the discussion of Fun Bobby's problems. He really just wanted to know what Monica thought about all of it, but he didn't want to ask her about it with the gang around.

Joey and Phoebe left about fifteen minutes later, and Ross followed not too long after. Eventually Rachel finally went to her room to get ready for bed, and Chandler was left alone with Monica, who was almost finished washing dishes and cleaning up the kitchen.

"So, Mon," Chandler started, and his friend turned around to look at him, her face relatively impassive. "You okay with all this Fun Bobby stuff?"

Monica offered him a small smile as she shrugged. "I think so. I just can't believe I never noticed it before, you know? I mean we've gone out more than a few times, and it never even crossed my mind."

Chandler nodded in understanding. "None of us noticed. He and Ross are all best-buddies, and he had no idea either." As he referred to Ross's excitement at seeing Fun Bobby, Chandler's tone unconsciously grew bitter. Chandler had no issue with Ross except that he, like the rest of the gang, loved Fun Bobby, whereas Chandler had his resentment or jealously or whatever it was.

Monica narrowed her eyes at him in response to his tone, but she let her gaze drop down to her feet. "I just hope it won't be too awkward to bring it up with him. I mean we've been going out for less than two weeks this time; that's not very long."

"It's the right thing to do though," Chandler replied. "And I'm sure it won't be too bad." He grinned at her.

Monica smiled back. "Thanks, Chandler." She pulled him in for a hug.

Chandler sighed slightly as he wrapped his arms around his friend. "No problem, Monica."

The next day Joey's agent called with an audition for _Days of Our Lives_. Joey was thrilled, and Chandler was thrilled for him. Immediately, they ran across the hall to tell Monica and Rachel, but they found the apartment empty, so they raced down the stairs to the coffee house.

As they burst through the door, Chandler saw Fun Bobby sitting between Monica and Phoebe on the couch, and he briefly wondered if Monica had talked to her boyfriend about his drinking yet before launching into his introduction about how Joey was back in show business.

"Here's to Joey!" Fun Bobby exclaimed, lifting his flask into the air. Then he glanced back and forth between Phoebe and Monica on either side of him. "Here, Joey!" he said after a pause, handing him the flask.

_Well that answers whether or not she talked to him,_ Chandler thought to himself. He locked eyes with Monica and gave her a reassuring smile and a nod, which she returned.

"Well, we have to celebrate!" Phoebe said excitedly. "You know what we should do! We should do like a soap opera theme!"

Chandler jumped at the opportunity. "Hey, yeah! We could all sleep together, and then one of us could get amnesia!" He glanced at Monica who laughed and rolled her eyes at him.

And then the Ross and Rachel saga continued, as he, Monica, Phoebe, Joey, and Fun Bobby were introduced to Rachel's date for the evening, Russ, who happened to bear a striking resemblance to the one missing member of their gang.

At the appearance of this "Russ," Fun Bobby slid down on the couch, and Monica looked over his head at Chandler.

Chandler could only shake his head at her, having absolutely no words for what was going on with their friends.

As the group left the coffee house half an hour later, Chandler managed to get Monica aside for a moment to make sure that everything had gone okay with Fun Bobby.

Monica seemed pretty optimistic about it, so Chandler was pleased. Well, not exactly pleased, he realized as he headed back to work. For him to really be pleased, Monica would have to dump Fun Bobby, but that wasn't really an option. Plus, Chandler didn't even have a real reason for wanting Monica's boyfriend out of her life, so he would settle for everything going well for her.

Except things weren't really going well for her. The following afternoon, they all discovered that one-day-sober Fun Bobby wasn't exactly any fun.

Chandler, Phoebe, and Monica sat on the orange couch for half an hour listening to Bobby's "funny" stories about hammers and hardware stores in The Village. Chandler was pretty sure that some forms of torture were less painful than this conversation.

Finally, Monica reminded her boyfriend that he had to go to an interview, and he very unceremoniously left the coffee house.

"Bye, Ridiculously Dull Bobby," Chandler said from behind Monica and Phoebe on the couch after the door shut behind Monica's boyfriend. He smiled to himself. If anything would get Fun Bobby out of their lives, this was it.

"Oh my God," Monica said exasperatedly, more to Chandler than anyone else.

All of the annoyance that Chandler had felt at Bobby's presence in the past week and half began to rapidly evaporate.

"He's not that bad," Phoebe said, defending him.

"Not that bad?" Monica repeated after her friend. "Did you not _hear _the hammer story?"

"Okay, okay," Phoebe replied, moving away from Monica. "Don't get all squinky." She set down her mug on the counter. "Maybe it was just the kind of story where you had to be there."

"But I'm gonna be there!" Monica practically yelled. "For the rest of my life."

Chandler's face fell completely at Monica's words. _She can't be with this guy for the rest of her life! _Chandler thought, confused._ I mean Ridiculously Dull Bobby? That guy does _not_ deserve Monica. _No one_ does._

"I mean, I can't break up with him," Monica continued. "I'm the one that made him quit drinking! He's dull because of me!"

"Alright, don't say that," Phoebe said, trying to help. "He's probably always been dull, you just, you know, set it free."

They all dropped the subject as Russ entered the coffee house, still looking and sounding exactly like their good friend. Chandler recoiled at the sight of him, thinking it was Ross until he saw the other man's face. Monica did the same, putting her hand on Chandler's leg to steady herself.

Ross himself made his way into the coffee house about thirty seconds later, and, after Chandler introduced him to Russ, the pair of nearly identical men engaged a long, pause-filled conversation as Monica, Chandler, and Phoebe watched.

"You know this is actually good," Chandler said to his friends. "Because if we ever lose Ross, we have a spare."

"Oh!" Russ said, "You're the, uh, paleontologist." Russ hit Ross on the chest with his newspaper.

"Yes, yes I am," Ross replied. "And you are a?" Ross hit Russ on the chest with _his_ newspaper.

"Periodontist," Russ answered.

"See," Monica said to Phoebe and Chandler, "they're as different as night and… later that night."

Chandler grinned at Monica's comment. There was a reason he loved spending time with his dark haired friend.

Apparently Ross hadn't even noticed the very strong resemblance between him and Russ, but Chandler still found the entire situation very weird.

Even as he sat between Ross and Russ at the coffee house the following day doing a crossword puzzle, he still couldn't believe that two of these people actually existed in the world.

Rachel seemed to finally understand what she had done as she looked from Ross to Russ and then ran into the bathroom repeating "ew" over and over to herself. She came out five minutes later and quickly cancelled her plans with Russ, saying that she didn't feel well, so Ross's double left the coffee house.

Phoebe, evidently wanting to move away from such an awkward topic, immediately changed the subject to Joey and the call back he had the next day. Joey would get the part if he slept with the network casting lady, but Joey had said he really didn't want to make it like that.

"I bet he won't sleep with her," Chandler said, confident in his friend's resolve. "He seems like he really wants to do this himself."

Ross nodded. "Yeah, he wants this to happen the right way."

Phoebe looked at them skeptically. "I'm not sure. He really wants this part too. I wouldn't be surprised if he did sleep with her."

"I'm with Phoebe," Rachel agreed. "I mean it's _Joey._"

"Ten bucks says he won't," Chandler put in.

The others agreed, Ross joining Chandler in saying Joey wouldn't sleep with the casting lady, and the girls saying he would.

They next turned to a discussion of Fun Bobby and Monica.

"They're definitely going to break up soon," Rachel asserted.

"By the end of this weekend for sure," Phoebe agreed.

Ross shrugged. "I don't know about that. I'm not sure how okay Monica feels about dumping him."

Chandler nodded. "Yeah, Monica was going on about how she was going to have to spend the rest of her life with him, and she kind of sounded like she at least sort of believed that." Chandler's voice had regained the bitter edge it had had when he had talked to Monica about Fun Bobby several days before.

Phoebe gave Chandler a searching look at his tone, but she didn't comment on it, instead betting ten bucks that Monica and Fun Bobby would break up before the weekend was over. Rachel joined her, while the guys said it would be longer.

The morning of Joey's callback and Monica's trip away for the weekend with Bobby arrived, and the gang, minus Joey, was having breakfast in Monica and Rachel's apartment.

Monica began loading mini bottles of alcohol into her bag for the weekend, while Chandler looked at his friend sadly. He knew she shouldn't have to deal with this.

Fun Bobby arrived and asked to talk to Monica out in the hallway. When she returned to the apartment, Bobby wasn't with her and her expression was slightly sad.

"What happened?" Rachel asked.

"Well, we," Monica paused for a second, "we kinda broke up."

The rest of the group awwed politely for a second before Ross and Chandler handed over the money they owed the girls. Chandler tried his best to look sympathetic and sad, or, at the very least, he tried not to start jumping up and down with excitement at the departure of Formerly-Fun Bobby. Chandler had never in his life been happier to lose a bet.

Monica started to smile as she saw the money change hands. "Does anybody want these?" she said offering around the bag of mini alcohol bottles.

"I'll take one," Chandler said, still barely controlling his happiness at Monica's new single status. He took the bottle between his thumb and his forefinger. "Sometimes I like to hold stuff like this and pretend I'm a giant."

A second later Joey entered the apartment with news that he had not only told the casting lady that he wouldn't sleep with her for a part, but also had gotten an even bigger part than the one he had originally auditioned for.

At Joey's words, the gang started cheering excitedly, Chandler jumping up and down. He was really excited about Joey's news, and how things had worked out with Monica and Bobby only added to his enthusiasm. Chandler and Ross took their money back from Phoebe and Rachel, the mood of everyone in the kitchen brightening considerably.

Only Monica seemed downcast.

"You okay, Mon?" Chandler asked his friend quietly.

She nodded, even though her expression remained relatively impassive. "I'm glad it's over, but it's still a break up, you know?"

Chandler nodded back at his friend, and looped his arm around her waist comfortingly. He couldn't help but smile widely as she settled her head against his chest. No more weird Monica and Fun Bobby related emotions for Chandler; everything made sense again.

Chandler glanced down at the kitchen table and saw Phoebe raising her eyebrows at him.

He was caught.

"I'm gonna head down to the coffee house," Phoebe said, standing up. "Chandler, why don't you join me," she added pointedly.

Chandler breathed in quickly. "Um, sure Pheebs."

They made their way down to the street, neither one of them saying anything.

When they finally sat down together on their orange couch, Phoebe turned to him with her arms folded. "So," she said simply as though expecting him to have an answer to her unasked question.

"So, what?" Chandler countered.

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "So," she said again, drawing out the word, "you and Monica."

Chandler tried to play off the situation. "What about me and Monica?"

His friend stared at him, shaking her head back and forth slightly. "You two are both so difficult!" She sighed exasperatedly. "Fine, I'll spell it out for you. You were way too happy about Monica and Bobby breaking up; why?"

Chandler couldn't quite meet Phoebe's eyes. "It wasn't a good relationship for Monica to be in, and I'm just happy that she doesn't have to worry about it anymore."

Phoebe kept staring at him. "Yeah, well _that's_ not the truth. Do you like her?"

"_Monica_?" Chandler said, trying to express to his friend just how ridiculous this idea was. "Do I like _Monica_? Of course I don't like _Monica_!"

"Well, I think you sounded pretty jealous of Bobby yesterday for someone who doesn't like Monica," Phoebe said, raising her eyebrows.

Chandler spluttered for a moment. "_Jealous_?_ Me_? I wasn't jealous! I just want what's best for her, as a friend."

Phoebe shook her head again. "I don't know about that whole "friend" thing. Things have been changed between you guys since that kiss thing a month and a half ago."

Chandler shrugged noncommittally, knowing that he was sounding less and less convincing with every half-truth he told Phoebe. Then he realized that Phoebe had just said something odd. "Wait, you said both of us are difficult. When was Monica difficult?" Chandler narrowed his eyes at her.

Phoebe rolled her eyes. "Monica was dodging questions like this when I asked her about you right after that whole thing." His friend uncrossed her arms, moving one hand to rest on his shoulder. "It's okay if you like Monica, you know. You guys would be great together."

"I don't like her though, Pheebs, okay?" Chandler said one final time, more to himself than to his friend. _Monica_ had been dodging questions about him? So it _wasn't _just him? He honestly didn't know how he felt about Monica, but it was easier to just say he didn't like her and be done with it. "It really doesn't matter."

Phoebe looked at him skeptically, but she finally sighed. "Okay."

The pair got up and actually ordered coffee, beginning to chat amicably about Joey instead.

After getting their coffee, they settled back into the couch, and Chandler picked up a newspaper from the coffee table.

A voice from behind them almost immediately interrupted his reading.

"Hi." It was Russ, his depressed "hi" sounding exactly like Ross's.

Chandler and Phoebe greeted him soberly.

"I guess you guys heard Rachel dumped me," Russ said gloomily as he sat down on the arm of the couch.

"Yeah, I'm sorry man," Chandler said sympathetically.

"All, all she said was that I remind her too much of somebody." He turned to Chandler and Phoebe. "Do you have any idea who she's talking about?"

Chandler shrugged and shook his head. This guy was oblivious.

"Oh, I do," Phoebe answered. "It's… Bob Saget. She hates him."

Chandler immediately nodded in support of his friend.

"Hey!" another voice said from the other side of the couch.

Chandler and Phoebe turned around and found Julie standing there smiling at them.

Chandler's mouth fell open slightly. The last time he had seen Julie, she had hugged him and congratulated him on getting together with Monica. _This'll be fun,_ Chandler thought as he forced himself to greet Julie pleasantly.

"Hey! How are you doing?" Phoebe asked cheerfully, resting her hand on Chandler's arm, reassuringly.

Chandler knew that Phoebe must have been able to tell that he was a little freaked out by seeing Julie again.

"Oh, I don't know," Julie said, her voice missing its usual cheerfulness. "I mean it's definitely weird not being with Ross, but I guess I'm doing okay." Then her eyes lit up and a smile grew rapidly on her face as she looked down at Chandler. "But what about you, Chandler? How are things with Monica?"

Chandler opened and closed his mouth wordlessly for a few seconds, thinking as fast as he could. Apparently when they broke up Ross hadn't let Julie in on the fact that Phoebe's song hadn't actually been about him and Monica. "Um, well, things are-"

"Things are great!" Phoebe interrupted him. "Chandler and Monica, Couple of the Year! They're always together, and Chandler's always worrying about her; it's so cute! Just this morning, Monica got out of a bad rela- I mean a bad friendship, _friendship_," Phoebe covered for herself and continued, "and Chandler was just so happy because it had been a bad situation for Monica, and he cares about her so much. They're so good together."

Julie beamed at him. "That's great! I'm so happy for you guys!" Her face fell slightly as she looked down at the shopping bag in her hands. "Um, I actually have some stuff of Ross's here if you could…" She trailed off, staring past Chandler and Phoebe.

Chandler turned to follow her line of sight. She was staring at Russ.

"Ha- have we met?" Julie said to Russ on the other side of the couch.

"I don't think so," Russ answered, standing up and walking toward her.

Julie continued to stare at him. "You look so familiar."

"Well, uh, maybe, maybe we could talk about it over a cup of coffee," Russ replied as the pair met behind the couch.

"You know what?" Julie replied, "I'm sick of coffee. Let's go get us some juice."

"Alright," Russ replied, nodding as he grinned down at Julie. "Bye," he called as an afterthought to Phoebe and Chandler.

"Bye…" Phoebe replied slowly, clearly freaked out by the weird meeting they had just witnessed, but Chandler didn't say anything. He was thinking about what Phoebe had just said to Julie about he and Monica's "relationship."

Besides that "couple of the year" preface, everything Phoebe had said had been true. He and Monica _were_ always together, he_ did_ always worry about her, and he _had_ been really excited to see Fun Bobby go this morning, though that was only partly because it had been bad for Monica; the rest had just been him being jealous or whatever emotion he had felt about Monica's relationship. By anyone's outside observation, he and Monica were an actual couple. Only it seemed that he and Monica hadn't been let in on this revelation.

_But _do _I want to be with Monica?_ Chandler asked himself, as he stared down at his feet. He recalled what Phoebe had said about Monica avoiding answering questions about him. She might be just as confused about this as he was. _Maybe this_ is_ something I want__..._ Chandler shook his head. He didn't know how to deal with this. Things were changing. This was _Monica_. What was he supposed to do?

Chandler exhaled slowly. _Crap. _This was going to be a bigger deal than he had convinced himself it was.

* * *

><p><em>AN: I was going to start this right from Fun Bobby, but I realized with a quick rewatch of "TOW Pheobe's Dad" that that was the episode where Chandler has his legs in Monica's lap for a couple minutes at Central Perk, and I refused to let that beautiful scene go to waste. _

_Please leave a review, and thanks so much for reading!_


	4. The Perfect Woman

_A/N: Sorry for the longer than expected delay in getting up this chapter. I do always end up with these extra-long chapters though, so I hope that at least sort of makes up for it. I can also totally guarantee that Chapter 5 will be up by next weekend because I have a pretty easy week, schoolwork wise. (This past week was a paper and two exams, among other things, so I literally could do absolutely nothing but school stuff until Friday.)_

_As always, thank you so incredibly much for your lovely reviews, and for all the favorites and follows. This chapter is probably my favorite I've written for this story so far (except for maybe the first one), so I really hope you guys like it._

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Friends_, but some dialogue is taken from "TOW the Lesbian Wedding" and "TO After the Superbowl."_

* * *

><p>Monica was just finishing cleaning up breakfast dishes as Ross and Rachel sipped coffee at the kitchen table when Phoebe and Chandler returned from the coffee house. Phoebe was carrying a shopping bag that she hadn't had when she left, and her expression was one of mild confusion and disbelief. Even with the odd look on Phoebe's face, Monica's eyes were drawn to Chandler. There was confusion evident in his face too, but, more than that, her friend seemed really freaked out. He was staring at the ground, his eyes wide, though he clearly wasn't paying attention to anything in front of him. His mouth was slightly open as he walked mechanically into the apartment. He seemed to be breathing in little short bursts like he had almost forgotten how. Monica had seen Chandler freak out time and time again about relationships or his family or something stupid Joey had done, but she wasn't sure that she had ever seen Chandler look quite this bad, except for maybe the Thanksgiving when she had accidentally cut off part of his toe. But Monica was pretty sure that that had been a once in a lifetime kind of thing.<p>

Monica instantly grew worried herself. Something awful must have happened down at the coffee house.

Ross spoke for the group that had remained in the kitchen. "What's up, guys?"

Chandler continued to stare out in front of him, apparently not registering Ross's words.

Phoebe spoke instead. "Well, we ran into some people at the coffee house." She stopped there as though she didn't need to elaborate.

Monica, Rachel, and Ross all continued to stare at her until she continued.

"Well first we saw Russ."

Rachel shifted her gaze downward sheepishly, clearly trying to avoid Ross's eyes as she sunk back in her seat.

"And he was just sad that Rachel dumped him," Phoebe went on. "But then someone else came in. Oh!" she interrupted herself as though suddenly remembering something. "This is for you." She held out the shopping bag to Ross.

Ross gave her a confused look as he took the bag and opened it. "Hey," he said slowly, "this is my stuff. Where'd this come from?" He pulled out a shirt. "I haven't seen this in weeks! I thought I left it at…" He trailed off, realization dawning on his face. "At Julie's," he finished quietly. "You guys saw Julie."

Phoebe nodded.

Monica's mouth fell open in realization. _They saw Julie!_ she thought to herself. _So _that's_ why Chandler's being so weird. The last time we saw her was the whole Betty and Neil thing! I bet Julie asked him about us._ At this thought, Monica again grew confused. _Why would Chandler be freaking out this much because of that? It's not like that was real or anything…_

Monica pulled herself from her thoughts as Phoebe continued with her story. "Yeah, we saw Julie. We talked for a little bit, asked her how she was. She asked about…um… how things are." Phoebe glanced sideways at Chandler, and Monica was certain that Julie had pressed Chandler for information about he and Monica's "relationship."

Phoebe continued. "But then she saw Russ, and it was this weird love-at-first-sight thing. The two of them went off to get juice together." Phoebe shuddered, evidently feeling very weird about the situation she had witnessed.

Ross squirmed in his seat, averting his eyes from Rachel as she did the same to him.

No one spoke for a few moments as everyone processed Phoebe's story.

Then the apartment door opened and a freshly showered Joey walked in, still grinning.

"Joey!" Phoebe seized the opportunity, "tell us more about the audition and the part you got!"

"Sure!" Joey said enthusiastically, apparently oblivious to the awkward situation he had just walked into.

Phoebe gestured for Joey to come into the living room, and she took a seat on the sofa, Joey sitting down next to her.

"Yeah, I want to hear all about it," Rachel said, standing up and walking to sit on Joey's other side.

Ross got up too, nodding, and took a seat in the chair, as far away from Rachel as he could manage.

Chandler stayed frozen near the door, so Monica approached him cautiously.

"Hey," she said softly from beside him.

He jumped slightly, finally meeting her eyes. He looked pretty close to terrified.

Monica hated seeing him look like that. "Are you okay?"

Chandler shrugged, still not speaking.

"Did Julie ask about... you know… 'us'?" Monica put air quotes around "us."

Chandler exhaled and then nodded slowly. "Nice of Ross to not let her in on the fact that that wasn't real." He said finally, the tiniest hint of normal Chandler humor coming to the surface.

Monica let herself smile at Chandler's comment. "Yeah, I figured she asked when Phoebe said you guys saw her. What did you say?" Monica tried not to sound too eager, but she really wanted to know how her friend had described their "relationship."

Chandler shook his head. "I was too flustered to say anything, but Phoebe made some stuff up though. Something about how we're "couple of the year" and how I always worry about you and want the best for you." Chandler's eyes fell to his feet.

Monica decided to set aside the Chandler worrying about her and wanting the best for her comments because she knew they were completely true, and she wasn't completely sure what to do with that information, but she could giver her input on the rest of what he had said. "'Couple of the year'? I guess we could be."

Chandler looked up at her, startled, his eyes wide.

Monica rushed to clarify. "I mean, if our competition is Ross and Rachel. I think we're doing better than they are at this point."

Chandler seemed to let out a breath, and he smiled weakly. The fear was less prominent in his eyes, but he still seemed to be confused and deep in thought.

"We should go hear about Joey's part," Monica said after a slightly awkward pause.

Chandler nodded, and they separated, walking on opposite sides of the sofa so Monica could sit next to Ross in the chair and Chandler could take a seat on the floor across the coffee table from the Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel.

Joey was explaining something about casting, but Monica wasn't listening. She couldn't figure out why Chandler was so freaked out by Julie wondering about their fictional relationship. It was totally normal for Chandler not to be able to make up some lie on the spot, but for him to be worried and upset about it fifteen minutes later was very weird. Clearly there was something else bothering him.

As she thought about it though, she realized that Chandler had been acting a little oddly the past couple weeks too. He had been kind of cold toward Fun Bobby, which was very uncharacteristic of Chandler, who usually loved hanging out with Monica's now-ex-boyfriend.

_Was he jealous?_ Monica almost laughed out loud at the idea, but she did smile to herself at the thought of Chandler jealous because of her. She wasn't quite sure why she was so pleased by that idea, but, nevertheless, she was.

Monica realized with a start that she was far more upset by Chandler's odd behavior than she had been by Fun Bobby dumping her earlier that morning. _Well _that _shows who I care about more, _Monica said to herself, unsurprised. She liked Bobby, and they did always have a lot of fun together, but he had never been a guy she could ever be in a real relationship with.

Not like Chandler. He was the greatest friend she could ever ask for, and they really were the "couple of the year" as Phoebe had said. Only, of course, they weren't _actually_ a couple… but what if they were... For what felt like the millionth time in the past month and a half, Monica replayed Julie's words from the coffee house in her mind about how she and Chandler made sense together, and then she replayed that perfect kiss. _I could get used to that._

Monica shook herself from her thoughts. She didn't like Chandler, and he didn't like her. He was only acting weird because he had seen Julie, and in a few hours things would go back to normal.

And they did, for the most part. Every so often, Monica would catch Chandler, out of the corner of her eye, staring at her with that confused expression on his face. She still wasn't quite sure what to make of it. A couple times she had been able to watch him for long enough to see him shake his head and turn his gaze down to his feet. It seemed to Monica like he was arguing with himself about something, with the side arguing "no" winning.

Catering Carol and Susan's wedding eventually completely took Monica's mind off Chandler. She was just glad her friend was willing to help her with all the preparations, not that he had any choice; Monica had basically forced the entire group to help out.

Chandler had come up to her after everything was finally done and everyone was getting ready to go to the wedding though, and he had given her a high five and a hug. "Great job, Mon," he'd said. "I don't think anyone but you could have ever pulled that off."

Monica had been left grinning to herself in the kitchen.

That night, after the food had been eaten and the venue cleaned up, the gang sat around the apartment, Ross holding Ben in his lap since Ben was staying with him for the next week while Carol and Susan went on their honeymoon.

"Okay," Monica said conversationally, "which one of us do you think is gonna be the first one to get married?"

"Well, Mon," Ross said from beside her, "I was married."

"Yeah, me too," Phoebe interjected, "technically."

"I had a wedding," added Rachel.

"Alright," Monica said defensively, "just trying to start an interesting discussion." With every wedding Monica went to, all she wanted was to get married herself. _Maybe someday,_ she thought, dreamily.

"Oh, I got one," Joey said after a moment. "Which one of us do you think will be the _last _to get married?"

Monica watched as Ross, Joey, Phoebe, and Rachel all turned to Chandler in one motion. Monica glanced at him too, just to see his reaction. He looked affronted.

"Isn't Ben in this too?" Chandler said, sitting up and pointing at the baby in Ross's lap.

"Oh yeah," Rachel, Joey, Phoebe, and Ross asserted, nodding. "Absolutely!"

Chandler repeated their comments in a mocking tone as he sunk back in his chair, a sad look on his face.

Monica glanced at him, and he met her eyes. She offered him a small smile and then rolled her eyes, inclining her head at the rest of the group to let him know that she thought they were wrong about him being the last to get married.

Chandler raised his eyebrows at her, as though expecting her to agree with the rest of the group, and then he returned her smile.

She finally dropped his gaze, thinking. Chandler was one of the kindest and most caring guys she had ever met. He was funny and sweet, and he could always make her happy when she was feeling bad. There was no way such a great guy like that would be the last one of them to get married. As soon as he found the perfect girl, that would be it. He had his commitment issues and all that, but Monica knew Chandler well enough to know that he would be able to work through them if he had a real reason.

_Whatever girl he ends up with is going to be so lucky,_ Monica thought to herself, suddenly feeling sad. She realized that she really didn't want to think about Chandler finding another girl. _That's weird…_ Monica shook her head and turned to her nephew beside her. Chandler really needed to stay out of her head.

Life went on. Joey met a stalker who thought he was actually Dr. Drake Ramoray from _Days of Our Lives_. Phoebe got a job playing songs for kids at the library, but was quickly fired for singing about topics deemed inappropriate for children, even though all the kids loved her. And Ross discovered that his old monkey Marcel was in show business and was filming a movie in the city.

After Ross and Marcel were reunited, the entire gang was invited back to the set the following day to see Marcel and watch some of the filming.

While Ross hung around with Marcel's trainer, Joey and Phoebe went off to try to get Joey a part in the movie, and Monica and Rachel started walking around seeing if they could find anyone famous.

Monica noticed that Chandler, who had wandered off making sarcastic comments at various actors, had started talking with an attractive red haired woman. Monica felt the slightest twinge of something that might have been jealousy, but before she could think about what it meant, someone else caught her eye. It was Jean-Claude Van Damme. THE Jean-Claude Van Damme! Monica couldn't keep herself from freaking out as she pulled Rachel into an alleyway.

Rachel encouraged her to go talk to him, but Monica refused, so Rachel went instead.

Monica watched anxiously from her alley, hoping Rachel wasn't saying anything too embarrassing about her, but, out of the corner of her eye, Monica saw Chandler sitting on the edge of the sidewalk with the same red haired woman as before. Monica turned slightly to see them better, and she noticed that the woman kept laughing and touching Chandler's arm, clearly interested in him. Monica's eyes narrowed. She did _not _like the way that woman was looking at her friend.

Approaching footsteps took Monica's attention away from Chandler and the other woman. Rachel had come back after her conversation with the actor.

"So what'd he say?" Monica asked her friend excitedly.

Rachel scoffed, almost laughing. "What a jerk! I kept talking about you, and he kept asking _me_ out!"

"Oh," Monica said, glancing over at the actor.

"Well, naturally," Rachel continued, "I said no."

Monica deflated, still staring at Van Damme. "Well, thanks anyway."

Rachel kept going, looking at the ground. "He just kept asking and asking and asking and asking and asking…" she trailed off.

"Rachel," Monica said seriously, "if you want to go out with him, you can. I mean, he sounds like a big jerk to me, but if that's what you want to do-"

Rachel interrupted, turning back to Van Damme. "JEAN-CLAUDE SHE SAID YES, I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT!" She gave him a thumbs up before turning back to Monica. "Thank you!" She strolled away, leaving Monica staring, openmouthed, after her.

Rachel had no right to do that to her! It would have been one thing if she just came out and asked if it would be okay, but to be so sneaky about it like that! Monica was really annoyed with her friend.

As she followed Rachel's path back to the rest of the gang, Monica saw Chandler grinning excitedly at nothing.

"Chandler!" Monica called over to her friend, wanting someone to complain to about Rachel.

Chandler's grin was still plastered on his face as he raced over to her. "You'll never believe this, Mon. Did you see that girl I was talking to?"

Apparently Monica was going to hear about Chandler's conversation with that red haired woman. _That's _exactly_ what I want to know about, _Monica thought to herself. _Another one of my friends has a date, and _of course_ this time it's Chandler._ Monica tried not to look too bitter as she nodded at her friend that she had seen the woman.

Chandler continued. "Well, apparently, we were in 4th grade together, and during the play I lifted up her skirt, and everyone saw her underwear."

Monica raised her eyebrows at him. That had not been what she was expecting.

Chandler laughed slightly to himself. "But anyway, she was totally into me, and we've got a date tonight! Then she basically said she wanted to sleep with me! Could this BE any better?"

Monica smiled weakly at her friend. "Yeah, that's great, Chandler."

Her friend, who was always the first one to realize that she was upset or that something was bothering her, didn't seem to notice her complete lack of enthusiasm for his news. He was off in his happy little "I have a date with a pretty girl" world.

Monica felt insignificant. First Rachel didn't seem to care about her feelings, and now Chandler. And he was supposed to be the one person she could always rely on.

She and Chandler met up with the rest of the group again, and they all walked back to the coffee house together. Chandler and Rachel were both still practically skipping, Joey was running through schemes to get him a part in the movie, and Ross was going on and on about how great it had been to see Marcel.

Phoebe, however, seemed to notice that Monica was upset, glancing at her searchingly several times on their trip back.

By the time they reached the coffee house, Monica had had enough of excited Rachel and Chandler, so she told the rest of the gang that she was heading back to the apartment. As she expected, Phoebe immediately said she would join her.

As they reached the top of the stairs and Monica unlocked the door, Phoebe asked her what was wrong.

Monica explained to Phoebe about Rachel and Jean-Claude Van Damme as her friend nodded along sympathetically from the kitchen table.

"And then Chandler had to go get a date with some _girl_," Monica said finally under her breath.

"There it is!" Phoebe said, definitively, sitting back in her chair. "I _knew_ this was about Chandler!"

Monica narrowed her eyes at her friend. "This is _not _about Chandler. This is about Rachel being a bad friend!" Monica dropped her gaze to the floor. "It's just that normally I complain to Chandler about this stuff, but he was too excited about that girl to even notice that I was upset."

Phoebe smirked at her. "You're _jealous_, Monica. You're used to Chandler paying attention to you all the time, and now you're jealous that you're not the one he's interested in."

Monica stared down at her friend. "What? I'm not jealous! I'm just annoyed that my friend doesn't seem to care that I'm upset."

Phoebe laughed dryly. "Oh, Monica. That's not why you care. Joey didn't notice you were upset, and neither did your brother, but you don't have a problem with either of them. This is all because it's Chandler, and you care about him more than anyone else. Admit it."

Monica opened her mouth to refute Phoebe's statement, but then she stopped. Phoebe had a point. Monica didn't expect Joey or even Ross to try to make her feel better, but she did expect that from Chandler. She knew that she would do anything to help Chandler, and she had really thought that he would do the same for her. And what about how he had been staring at her with that weird expression on his face for weeks now? Monica was pretty sure that that wouldn't be happening anymore, since Chandler had met this great girl who apparently already wanted to sleep with him.

Monica sighed. "Okay, maybe I do."

Phoebe grinned hugely at her. "Well this is progress!"

Monica didn't see it like that. She looked down at the floor gloomily.

Phoebe's expression fell too, and she stood up to put her arm around Monica's shoulders. "Oh, come on, Mon. It'll be fine. It's just one date for both of them. I'm sure this will all be over in a day or two and you'll have your normal Rachel and Chandler back."

Monica sighed again. "Well, I hope you're right."

The next day, the whole group was forced to listen to Rachel go on and on about her date with Van Damme from the night before. Well Monica felt forced; the rest of the group was actually interested.

"Does anybody need anything?" Rachel asked, finally getting up from the couch where she had been sitting to tell Phoebe, Joey, and Monica all about her wonderful night.

"I'll have an espresso," Monica replied. "Oh, actually, I'll get it. If I ask you to, you'll probably end up drinking it yourself." Just because Phoebe had tried to get her to let it all go didn't mean that Monica couldn't still be bitter about her situation.

A minute later, Chandler burst through the coffee house doors, sounding just as excited as he had the day before, if not more so. "Hey! Stick a fork in me," he said, holding his hand out to Monica for a high five as he passed by her. "I am done."

After an exchange between Phoebe and Chandler in which Chandler tried to explain the expression, he finally elaborated on his statement. "I've met the perfect woman."

The grin that had appeared on Monica's face at Chandler and Phoebe's conversation fell off instantly. Apparently Chandler's date had been a success. Great.

Joey, Ross, and Rachel pressed Chandler for more information, Monica staying silent and Phoebe shooting her a look as though to make sure she was okay.

Chandler continued. "Okay, so we're sitting on her couch, we're fooling around," he looked over at Monica and directed the rest of his words specifically to her, "and then she turns to me and says 'did you ever want to do it in an elevator'?"

Monica forced her face into some terrible attempt at a smile. _Why did he have to look at me to say that?_ she thought, trying to keep her face from giving her emotions away. _I mean we've always been really excited for each other about stuff like this, but I thought that things were different or something with us now. I guess I was wrong._

Monica barely registered that Chandler was still talking about how he didn't know if he wanted to do it on elevator as she quietly excused herself to go to the bathroom.

She stared at herself in the mirror for a moment. She had no reason to be upset with Chandler; he hadn't done anything. He was allowed to go have elevator sex with his "perfect woman" if he wanted to, and he had every right to brag about it to the rest of the group. Monica just wasn't sure that she could deal with it. _Just because that girl wants to have sex in an elevator doesn't make her perfect,_ Monica said to herself bitterly. _Chandler's just being stupid and shallow. This can't actually go anywhere. _Monica took a deep breath. "I can deal with this," she said out loud quietly as she exhaled. "No big deal."

Monica's day just went downhill from there. She found out that Chandler and his "perfect woman" were going out again that night, this time with Joey and the movie's assistant director. Monica was so upset about everything with Chandler that she dealt with it by being even more annoyed with Rachel than she had been before. Rachel was going out with Van Damme again later that night too, and Monica was just sick of all of it. Phoebe tried to mediate things between them, but their fight turned physical pretty quickly, Phoebe eventually having to separate them by grabbing one of Monica's ears with one hand and one of Rachel's with the other.

Rachel finally agreed to call Jean-Claude and tell him that Monica was going out with him that night instead of Rachel. Monica was still upset, but this could at least sort of make up for what had happened.

An hour later, Monica found herself back at the film set holding hands with Jean-Claude Van Damme himself. As they walked along the closed-off street, Monica asked him why he had agreed to go out with her, and she discovered that Rachel had told the actor that Monica wanted to have a threesome with him and Drew Barrymore.

Monica let Van Damme walk off as she turned and made her way as fast as possible back to the apartment to find Rachel. Going out with Van Damme when Rachel knew Monica liked him was one thing, but telling him that Monica wanted to have a threesome was another thing entirely. Monica was absolutely livid.

Her fight with Rachel when she got home was worse than the one they had had earlier. By the end of it, Monica had pulled a string out of Rachel's favorite sweater, and Rachel had dumped a jar of spaghetti sauce in Monica's purse, unwittingly ruining a pair of Rachel's own gloves as well as the bag.

Phoebe finally made them see reason, and they both apologized. Monica knew that regardless of how annoyed she had been at Rachel, the person she was really upset with was Chandler. And the worst part was that she didn't even have that legitimate of a reason for being angry with him.

After making sure that everything was going to be okay, Phoebe left to head home, and Monica and Rachel sat down together on the sofa to try to fix Rachel's sweater. It wasn't quite as nice as before, but, by the time they had finished, only Monica's perfectionist eyes could tell that something had happened to it.

Rachel had thanked her friend and had given her a hug before going into her room.

Monica checked the kitchen to make sure everything was neat and clean, and then decided to take the trash out. She picked up the full garbage bag and left the apartment just as someone else was coming up the stairs.

A head appeared at the top of the stairwell, and then a body, covered by what looked like the door to a bathroom stall. It was Chandler.

Monica stared at him, a huge grin growing on her face as she began to laugh. "Hey Chandler, uh, what happened?"

Chandler froze as he reached their floor, covering himself with the door warily as he stared back at her. "Um… it's a long story."

Monica raised her eyebrows at him, still laughing. "Well, I've got time. You want to go get changed out of that stall door?" she joked.

He looked down at what was covering him. "Yeah, that's probably a good idea."

Monica shook her head as Chandler started to move past her. "I've got to go take this trash out, but I'll be in there in a minute. You are not getting away without telling me about this."

Chandler sighed resignedly. "I guess I'd rather you heard it from me than from Ross and Joey." He stopped at the door and then turned his head back to Monica sheepishly. "Can I use your spare key? I don't have mine on me."

"Pretty sure you don't have much of anything on you," Monica said quietly as she dropped her trash bag and opened the door to the apartment to grab her key to Chandler and Joey's apartment from the table.

She could hear Chandler laughing softly behind her, apparently having heard her comment.

When she handed him the key he seemed to be in slightly better spirits than before, offering her the ghost of a smile in thanks as he unlocked the door.

A grin stayed on Monica's face as she threw the trash bag down the garbage chute and hurried back to Chandler's apartment. This was probably going to be the highlight of her otherwise pretty bad day.

She let herself in and sat down at one of the chairs in his living room to wait for Chandler to get changed.

After a couple minutes, Chandler reappeared from his room, now fully clothed, his head hanging down and a sad expression on his face.

Monica immediately stood up and took two steps to meet him. "Oh, Chandler," she said softly as she threw her arms around her friend. "Seriously, what happened?"

Chandler wrapped his arms around her and hugged her tightly. "I'm so stupid, Mon. That's what happened."

"Come on, let's sit down." Monica pulled Chandler into a chair as she took the one opposite him, not letting go of her friend's hands.

"You were having dinner with that girl and Joey right?" Monica said hesitantly.

Chandler nodded, still staring at the floor. "Yeah, Susie. My 'perfect woman.' That's a laugh."

The corners of Monica's mouth rose involuntarily at Chandler's words, but she tried to keep sounding sympathetic and concerned. "Did she do something to you?"

Chandler finally met Monica's eyes. "Did she _do _something to me? Did you _see_ what I was wearing when I came in here?"

Monica raised her eyebrows at him, confused. "She made you walk home wearing nothing but a bathroom stall door?"

Chandler sighed. "Do you remember how I told you that I lifted up her skirt in the fourth grade and everyone saw her underwear?"

Monica nodded.

"Well, this was payback." Chandler gave Monica the smallest of half-smiles.

Monica narrowed her eyes. "She took your clothes and made you walk home in your underwear because of something you did in the fourth grade?"

Chandler took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Not exactly_ my_ underwear…"

Monica's mouth fell open in realization. "No," she breathed.

Chandler nodded. "Yes. She stole my clothes and left me in a bathroom stall wearing only my socks and _her_ underwear."

Monica couldn't help herself. She burst out laughing.

"Hey! That's not funny!" Chandler said, insulted, sitting back from her, taking his hands out of hers.

Monica wiped the tears out of her eyes as she tried to calm herself down. "Oh, oh yes it is," she said finally, a huge smile on her face as she shook her head at her friend.

Chandler looked hurt, so Monica relented.

"Chandler, come on," she said, taking his hands again. She was pleased when he didn't pull away from her. "If it wasn't you this had happened to, you know you'd think it was funny."

Chandler finally shook his head and offered a small smile. "Yeah, I guess you're right." He squeezed her hand lightly before his eyes grew cloudy again. "I just feel so stupid, you know? She was just using me the whole time, and I was so excited about her! But that doesn't even matter. If I'd thought about it for half a second I would have realized that, even if she was serious with all that stuff, that's not 'the perfect woman' for me." Chandler sighed, looking down at his feet. "I don't want to be 'Chandler: the last one of us to get married;' I want to actually have a meaningful relationship with someone. Someone who I know and trust and care about more than anything. Someone who feels the same way about me." He paused for a moment before finishing quietly. "Someone who I can't keep my mind off of." Chandler glanced sideways at Monica.

Monica's breath caught in her throat. Was he talking about her? _Does Chandler… like me? _Monica thought, her eyes still locked with Chandlers. _And do I… do I maybe like him too?_

Chandler lifted up his head, his eyes never leaving Monica's.

Monica was pretty sure she had lost all ability to breathe or even think as she stared at her friend.

He leaned in toward her, and Monica shifted forward ever so slightly in her seat.

The front door opened, and Monica and Chandler flew back from each other, Monica sliding her hands out of Chandler's.

It was Joey with the assistant director in tow.

"Hey guys," Joey said, totally unaware of what he had just interrupted. "Glad you got some clothes on there, Chandler."

Chandler gave him a weak smile and a nod.

"Oh!" Joey said, his eyes moving to Monica. "Monica, this is Cathy," he gestured to woman beside him. "She's assistant to the director for the movie."

"Hi," Monica said, her voice sounding odd. She turned back to Chandler, who was again staring at the ground. "I should probably head back." She stood up.

"Oh, oh yeah," Chandler said, standing too.

The pair passed Joey and Cathy and made their way into the hall, Monica saying a quick goodnight to Joey and a "nice to meet you" to Cathy.

"Um," Chandler started as they stood together in the space between their front doors, clearly unsure of what exactly to say. "Um, well, uh, thanks for trying to make me feel better."

Monica nodded in response. "Yeah, right, no problem. Anytime."

There was a pause as they looked at each other.

"Night, Monica," Chandler said finally.

"Night, Chandler," Monica replied softly.

They each stepped back into their respective apartments and let their doors close.

Immediately, Monica collapsed against hers, breathing heavily. She had almost kissed Chandler again. If Joey hadn't walked in, it would have happened, and Monica was pretty sure she would have been okay with that.

_What's going on?_ Monica thought helplessly as she slid down the door to sit on the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees. "I am _not_ falling for Chandler. I'm not_._ I'm _not."_ Monica whispered the statement over and over to herself like a mantra, but, somehow, she felt less and less convinced every time she said the words. Monica now understood the fear that Chandler had had in his eyes when he had come back from the coffee house a few weeks before. She was pretty terrified of whatever this was herself._  
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><p><em>AN: Thanks so much for reading! Reviews are the best!_


	5. No More Denying

_A/N: I thought this chapter was going to be short, but it ended up being the longest one I've written so far, so, sorry about that. I'll get the next chapter up as soon as I can (and it's the one I've been most excited about writing since the beginning, so I really can't wait). Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed, favorited, and followed this. You guys are seriously the best ever._

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Friends_, but some dialogue is taken from "TO after the Super Bowl" and "TOW the Prom Video."_

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><p>Chandler shut the apartment door after saying goodnight to Monica. He let his hand rest on the doorknob as he took a deep breath, his mind racing.<p>

"Hey, man, you okay?" Chandler heard from behind him.

Chandler turned around to see Joey staring at him, evidently concerned.

Chandler nodded distractedly. "Yeah, I'm good. Night, Joe. Night, Cathy." Chandler brushed hurriedly past his friend and his date, entering his bedroom and closing the door behind him as he threw himself onto the bed.

He buried his head in a pillow. Had that really just happened? Had he _really_ basically admitted to Monica that he liked her. _I said I wanted to be with "someone I can't stop thinking about" and then I looked at her! What was I thinking? _Chandler rolled over onto his back, covering his face with both hands. _Why am I so awful at everything? Monica won't even want to talk to me now, much less anything else._

Chandler grabbed his pillow and yelled into it, making sure to be quiet enough that Joey and Cathy in the other room wouldn't be able to hear him.

Since his conversation with Phoebe and Julie in the coffee house several weeks before, Chandler had started to realize more and more how much he cared about Monica and how much he wanted to spend time with her. He was pretty sure that Monica had caught him staring at her a couple times, but he couldn't help it. He would see her and then the battle would start in his head over whether he actually liked her like that or not.

The final straw had been Susie leaving him stranded, nearly naked, in the restaurant bathroom. As he had made the, mercifully not too lengthy, trek home, Chandler had thought through his situation over and over, each time coming to the same conclusion: he had been stupid to go out with Susie in the first place, and what he really wanted was to be with a person who he could count on and who he cared deeply about. By the time he had made it back to the building, Chandler had finally surrendered; he wanted to be with Monica and that was it.

He had been startled to see her when he reached the top of the steps, but, at the same time, there was no one else who he would have rather seen in that situation. Chandler had no idea what he would have done if it had been Rachel taking out the trash instead of Monica. But then he and Monica had started talking, and he had let their conversation get out of hand. He had as good as told her that he wanted to be with her, and then he had almost kissed her!

Chandler stopped the replay of the night's events in his mind as he realized something. He had leaned in to kiss Monica, but Monica had leaned in too. She had been staring at him breathlessly, still holding his hands, and she had been about to kiss him back if he had kissed her… right? Chandler sat up in his bed. Had he just imagined Monica moving toward him? Or, if she had actually leaned in, had she just done that because he was doing it? Did she rush out of the apartment so quickly because she had _wanted_ to kiss him or because she was freaked out that he had tried to kiss her?

Chandler ran his hands through his hair. He had ruined any chance of figuring things out with Monica. He had literally_ just_ let himself acknowledge that he wanted to be with her, and then he had to go ruin it in his normal Chandler way. The smart thing to do would have been to let her make him feel better about his situation, say goodnight with a hug, try to get her to see how great a guy he was, and then maybe go to Phoebe, admit defeat, and try to get her to figure out if Monica liked him back.

"Stupid, stupid, stupid!" Chandler said quietly, hitting himself in the forehead on each word. "Why can't I just keep my mouth shut?" First it had been the whole Betty and Neil thing that started whatever this was with Monica, then it had been the infamous List that had prevented Ross and Rachel from getting together, and now he had messed up he and Monica's friendship too, all because he couldn't shut up.

_You know, maybe I don't even like Monica like that,_ Chandler thought quickly, but then he shook his head. He had been denying this for weeks now, if not months, and he really couldn't do it anymore. He liked Monica, and he was going to have to live with that reality.

It took Chandler what felt like hours to get to sleep that night. All he could do was replay their last conversation over and over in his head as he tried to figure out how to properly deal with everything. As he finally drifted off into a very fitful sleep, Chandler's last thought was that he needed to avoid any one-on-one situations with Monica. He didn't want to have to discuss what had happened so he could be formally rejected and he and Monica's friendship could be totally ruined.

Chandler was able to slip off to work the next morning without making an appearance next door for breakfast. He knew Joey might ask him about it later, but Rachel wouldn't notice, and Monica… well Monica probably didn't want to see him anyway.

When he stopped by the coffee house that afternoon, he was pleased to find only Ross and Phoebe, who seemed to be in the middle of recounting something to Ross when Chandler walked in.

"So Monica pulls a string completely out of the sweater," Phoebe said animatedly, Ross listening intently, "and Rachel dumps this full jar of spaghetti sauce into the purse. And then at this point I had break things up because that was just too far. Then they apologized, and everything's okay with them now. They were going to fix Rachel's sweater when I left last night. No hope for that purse though."

Ross shook his head, his eyes wide.

Chandler was extremely confused. "Um, what are you talking about Pheebs?"

"Monica and Rachel's fight last night over Jean-Claude Van Damme," Phoebe answered simply.

Chandler furrowed his brow. He knew that Rachel had gone out with Van Damme the same night he had first had dinner with Susie, but he had no idea why Monica was involved. "What does Monica have to do with Van Damme? I thought it was Rachel that was going out with him."

Phoebe rolled his eyes at him. "Didn't you notice how upset Monica was the past couple days? They're both fine now, so I won't go into it again, but you had to have had at least some idea that the Van Damme thing was bothering Monica." Phoebe narrowed her eyes at him, a wordless reprimand for not knowing how Monica felt.

Chandler didn't know what to think. He hadn't actually noticed that anything was up with Monica. He had spent all his time thinking about Susie for the past two days. Had he really neglected the one person he cared about most in the world?

"I… I had no idea…" Chandler said finally, in a soft voice, his eyes turning toward the ground. Monica had done her best to comfort him the night before after his disastrous date, and this was how he repaid her? He didn't deserve Monica. She was way too good for him.

"Don't feel bad, man," Ross said casually. "I only knew from Joey, and Phoebe was the one who told him. Monica's good about hiding stuff."

"Not from me," Chandler said to himself, barely audibly.

Ross didn't hear him, but Phoebe looked over and raised her eyebrows.

Chandler was too upset about Monica to care what Phoebe thought about his comment. How had he been so oblivious that he let some stupid girl get in the way of he and Monica's friendship? She was supposed to be able to rely on him, and it seemed that he had completely thrown that away. _I wonder if she noticed, _Chandler thought, still keeping his eyes on the floor. _I could ask Phoebe, but that would be kind of a giveaway, wouldn't it? _

Chandler shook his head and stood up to grab a newspaper and order himself a cup of coffee, Phoebe asking for him to get her a cup too.

After getting the steaming mugs from Gunther, Chandler handed one to Phoebe and sat down. His friend began pouring milk into her cup from a small pitcher on the table.

"Hey, Pheebs, can I have the milk after you?" Chandler asked.

"I'm almost done with it," Phoebe replied. "Keep your panties on." She turned and grinned at him as Ross started laughing beside her.

Chandler's eyes widened. He had managed to almost forget that his entrapment, almost naked, in a bathroom stall was more than just the beginning of his current problems with Monica. That had been clearly witnessed by Ross and Joey and was more obviously embarrassing and problematic than his conversation with Monica from the night before. _Great,_ Chandler thought dejectedly. _Now everyone's just going to keep bringing this up, as if I didn't have enough to think about._

But before Chandler could respond or Phoebe and Ross could make fun of him further, Joey raced into the coffee house to tell them that he had been called in to replace a virus victim in Marcel's movie. Joey added that Marcel had finished filming if Ross wanted to go say goodbye.

Even as Ross replied, said monkey began knocking on the window of the coffee house, and Ross almost sprinted outside to go see his fur-covered friend.

Chandler shook his head. He never had understood Ross and Marcel's relationship.

Chandler headed back to work, making plans to meet back up with Joey and Phoebe after he got off so they could head back down to the movie set to see Marcel off properly.

But when Chandler made it back to the coffee house a few hours later, it wasn't just Joey and Phoebe waiting for him; Rachel and Monica were there too.

Chandler froze for a moment, a few steps inside, when he finally saw the friend that he had been trying to avoid all day. Chandler was grateful to see that she was sitting on the couch with Rachel and Phoebe, leaving a chair further away from her open for Chandler.

He took a deep breath and made his way over to the rest of the gang. "Any sign of the monkey lover yet?" Chandler asked in an attempt to be casual.

Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey all shook their heads, but Chandler's eyes focused in on Monica. It seemed like she was deliberately looking away from him.

What poor attempt of a smile that he had put on his face fell instantly. The tiny shred of hope left in Chandler that maybe he and Monica were going to be okay left him. If Monica couldn't even bear to look at him now, what chance did he have? It was over. He had to move on.

Ross soon arrived with Marcel, both man and monkey looking as though they had had the times of their lives, and the group began their trip back to the set. Joey spent the walk telling the rest of the group what exactly he had had to do for his part, Ross filling in pauses in the conversation with stories about he and Marcel's afternoon out. Chandler stayed by Ross and Joey, leaving Monica over with Rachel. Every block or so he would allow himself a glance back at his friend, but she seemed determined not to meet his eyes.

As soon as they reached the set, Monica practically pulled Rachel away from the rest of the group. Her excuse was that they needed to see Van Damme, but Chandler knew it was really to get away from him.

The rest of the group followed Ross and Marcel to Marcel's trainer where Ross had to say his final, sad goodbye to his old friend. Rachel and Monica came over just in time to see the monkey leave, and the whole group stood behind Ross as the car door closed. As Marcel's car drifted into a line of city traffic, Chandler patted Ross on the back supportively.

After allowing Ross to watch the car until it turned the corner and drove out of sight, the group began to walk back to the apartment.

Phoebe quickly made another women's underwear themed joke at Chandler's expense, but, after everyone laughed, the discussion moved on to other things.

"You have a job interview tomorrow, right, Mon?" Rachel asked, looking over to her friend.

Monica nodded. "It seems like a pretty good opportunity. I'm just worried about my resume. I've been out of work for a pretty long time now."

"You can always put me as a reference," Chandler said suddenly, surprising himself. This was the first he had spoken to Monica all day.

Monica's eyes fell to the ground immediately. "You don't have to do that," she said to the sidewalk.

Chandler shrugged. "No big deal. Just put me in as your last employer and give them my number. I'll say good stuff about you." It was the least he could do for not helping her with the Van Damme situation.

At his words, Monica finally met his eyes. He recognized the uncertainty in them. It was the same look she had had on her face after they had kissed at the coffee house all those months ago. Chandler still didn't know what it meant.

"Okay," Monica said after a moment, her gaze returning to the ground. "I'll do that. Thanks, Chandler."

When the group arrived back at their building, Joey took off saying he had some stuff to do, leaving the rest of the group to climb the stairs up to their floor.

Chandler had had enough of watching Monica look anywhere but at him, so he mumbled a less convincing (and entirely untrue) variation of Joey's "I have stuff to do" and slipped away.

Ross and Rachel each gave him a cursory wave, but Phoebe narrowed her eyes at him, clearly knowing that something was up with him and Monica. Monica herself glanced up at him for the briefest of moments before turning back to unlock the door to her apartment.

Chandler sighed as he stepped into the room and closed the door behind him. He just needed to stop thinking about Monica. He switched on the TV, flipping through channels to try to find something mind numbing.

An hour of TV and a foosball game against himself later, Joey finally returned to the apartment.

His friend handed Chandler an envelope with eight hundred and twelve dollars in it.

When Chandler asked him what it was for, Joey replied that he was making money now and that he wanted to pay Chandler back for headshots, electric bills, pizza, etcetera.

"Well thanks, man," Chandler said to his friend, grinning. "Now I can get my pony!"

"Hey!" Joey called after him as he went to put the money on his desk. "This is a little something extra for always being there for me." Joey held out a small black box.

Chandler's grin grew wider. "Wow, I don't know what to say!" He opened the box. Inside was a heavy gold bracelet. Chandler's smile turned into a grimace. "Wow, I, I don't know what to say." He repeated with much less enthusiasm.

Joey seemed oblivious to Chandler's change in tone, pointing out the engraving on the bracelet's surface: "BEST BUDS."

All Chandler wanted to do was lock the bracelet up and forget it existed, but Joey insisted that it went with everything and that Chandler had to put it on.

Chandler finally let his friend fasten the bracelet around his wrist, knowing that Joey had at least meant well. The pair ordered a couple pizzas and spent the rest of the evening playing foosball and watching TV.

Just before Chandler fell asleep that night, he realized, relieved, that he had barely thought about Monica for the entire night. _Maybe we can get through this,_ he thought, finally, before drifting off.

The next morning, Chandler put on the garish bracelet, since Joey was still at home, and ventured hesitantly over to the apartment across the hall. Ross and Phoebe were sitting at the kitchen table, and Rachel's voice could be heard faintly from her room where she seemed to be on the phone. Monica didn't appear to be there.

"Hey guys," Chandler said pleasantly, slightly nervous that Monica would come out of her room any second and things would be awkward between them.

Ross and Phoebe greeted him, and then Phoebe casually informed him that Monica was at her job interview.

"Ah," Chandler said, trying not to sound too relieved. He wanted things to be okay with them, but it was still nice to know that he didn't have to worry for the time being.

Phoebe gave him a look that was clearly meant to say that she saw right through him.

Chandler ignored her and turned to talk to Ross instead.

Half an hour later, after Rachel had left to go to work and Phoebe had migrated to the living room, the apartment door opened, and Monica walked in slowly.

Chandler's first thought was that he should probably get out of the apartment, but almost instantly he abandoned that idea because Monica clearly wasn't okay. She seemed preoccupied, looking very upset and almost disgusted by something, but Chandler could tell it had nothing to do with her apartment or anyone in it.

He stood up and stepped toward her quickly. "What happened, Mon?" He made to reach out his hand to touch her arm, but he stopped himself. He and Monica weren't exactly doing the whole touchy-feely best friends thing at the moment.

Monica just shook her head, looking up at him, clearly distraught. "The guy I was interviewing with was this huge pervert. All he did was make comments about 'dirty' lettuce and 'very, very bad' tomatoes." Monica shuddered. "It was terrible. I left after about two minutes."

"Aw, Mon, I'm sorry," Chandler said, wrapping his arms around his friend unconsciously. He froze slightly when he realized what he had done, but Monica sank slightly into his chest, as though to let him know that it was okay. Chandler knew he would never be able to stay away from Monica. He couldn't care about her less any more than he could stop breathing.

By this point, Ross and Phoebe had come over to them too, patting Monica's back comfortingly. Phoebe glanced sideways at Chandler, but Chandler looked away. He didn't need any "I told you so"s from his friend.

Monica looked up and sighed. "I think I just need to shower."

Chandler removed his arms from around his friend, upset about what had happened to her, but grateful that things finally seemed normal between them again.

As Monica went off to shower, Chandler and Phoebe settled themselves down at the coffee table to play cards, while Ross remained reading at the kitchen table. Chandler could see Phoebe trying to catch his eye, presumably to ask about Monica, but Chandler wouldn't accept her unspoken invitation to a conversation.

Eventually Ross answering a phone call for Rachel from a guy she had met at the movies elicited another "why am I not with Rachel" rant from Ross. Chandler still felt partially responsible for their friends not being together because Ross's list that had torn them apart had really been Chandler's idea. That day Monica had tried to convince him that while his idea had been stupid, it was Ross's own fault, but Chandler couldn't help but feel bad about it even months later.

"Hang in there," Phoebe replied to Ross's rant assuredly. "It's gonna happen."

"Okay, now how do you know that?" Ross asked, hopeless.

"Because she's your lobster," Phoebe answered matter-of-factly.

Ross and Chandler both stared at their friend. Chandler didn't have even the slightest idea what this very typical Phoebe remark was referring to.

"Come on you guys," Phoebe said almost rolling her eyes in response to Chandler and Ross's blank stares, "it's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You know what? You can actually see old lobster couples walking around their tank, you know, holding claws. Like this." She formed her hands into claw shapes and linked them together, miming a lobster couple in their tank. She saw Ross's critical glance and elaborated. "You, you have to picture lobsters."

Ross continued to stare at her.

"Rachel's your lobster, Ross," Phoebe went on, stopping the pretend lobster motions with her hands. "Everyone has one. Even Chandler's got a lobster somewhere." Phoebe glanced knowingly from Chandler to the bathroom door that Monica had disappeared behind.

Chandler widened his eyes at Phoebe, angrily. Subtlety had never been one of Phoebe's strong suits.

Luckily, observation of others while he was distracted had never been one of Ross's, so Chandler and Phoebe didn't have to explain to their friend what Phoebe had just implied.

Chandler turned away from Phoebe. Her whole lobster theory wasn't true, at least for him. Yeah, he wanted to be with Monica, but all he would ever be for her was a friend, a guy she went to if she needed to complain or just wanted a hug. He could never be her lobster, even if he wanted her to be his.

As if on cue, Monica came out of the bathroom in a bathrobe, her hair up in a towel.

Chandler immediately hopped up and walked around to lean against the back of the sofa, his expression immediately brightening at the sight of his friend. He always just felt happier when Monica was around. "Hey, you feeling better?" he asked, his smile evident in his voice.

"Yeah, I think that fifth shower actually got the interview off me," Monica replied, still sounding annoyed about her situation, but looking much better than she had when she had first arrived back at the apartment.

"So do you have any other possibilities?" Phoebe asked, kneeling on the sofa so her head ended up beside Chandler's.

"Yeah, well there's the possibility that I won't make rent," Monica responded, evidently more worried about her poor job prospects than her earlier interview with the pervert.

Ross, naturally, offered to lend her some money, and then, when she refused, suggested that she ask her parents.

"You know," Chandler interjected, "the man's got a point." He gestured with his arm and the gaudy gold bracelet immediately slid off his wrist and onto the floor.

Chandler rushed to pick it up, but Ross beat him to it. He held it out for Monica to see, both of them grinning like Christmas had come again in February.

"That thing… it's a…" Chandler trailed off, trying to come up with some sort of even partially believable excuse. "Yeah it's, it's a little flashy," he finally finished lamely.

"No, no." Ross replied, calmly. "No, no, it's not flashy, not for a Goodfella." He handed Chandler back the bracelet.

"Man, man, that is sharp," Monica cut in. "It must have cost you quite a few doubloons!"

"No, no it's fun," said Phoebe, grinning. "It's like knowing one of the Gabor sisters."

Chandler put his head in his hands, still smiling in spite of the situation. "It was from Joey," he finally broke out.

Ross, Monica, and Phoebe all began to laugh uproariously.

"Well that just made my day a million times better," Monica said gleefully. She touched Chandler's arm lightly as she walked back to her bedroom.

Chandler's eyes followed her for a few seconds longer than polite protocol allowed, and Phoebe seemed to notice, elbowing him sharply. When he turned to face her, she was staring at him with a look that plainly said "seriously?" Ross, as per usual, hadn't noticed anything.

"Coffee house?" Phoebe said to Chandler pointedly.

"You want to come, Ross?" Chandler asked, knowing that Phoebe couldn't question him if Ross was there.

Ross shook his head. "Nah, I've gotta head out."

"Just you and me then, Chandler," Phoebe said, grinning just a little more than Chandler was comfortable with.

Chandler sighed resignedly and nodded. It was better to just get this over with. All he had to do was deny everything. He _had _gotten pretty good at that.

Chandler and Phoebe sat down in the coffee house, Chandler on the couch and Phoebe in one of the chairs, and Chandler felt a strange sense of déjà vu. He and Phoebe had been in nearly these exact positions discussing this exact topic just a few weeks before. Chandler really wanted to move on, not that he could. This was Monica; it wasn't just something he could get over.

After a moment of silence, Phoebe began. "You know why we're here, Chandler."

Chandler rolled his eyes. Time to start pretending. "It's still just as not true as it was three weeks ago, Pheebs. I. Don't. Like. Monica." He clearly enunciated every word.

"And I. Don't. Believe. You," Phoebe replied, mocking him.

Chandler threw his hands up in exasperation. "Well believe what you want. It's still not true."

Phoebe opened her mouth to respond, but then closed it, her eyes passing Chandler and focusing on something past him.

"What?" Chandler said, turning around to follow Phoebe's line of sight. She was staring at a woman. Who was staring at Chandler.

Chandler turned back around, frowning slightly. Women checking him out in the coffee house were not regular occurrences.

Phoebe moved her gaze back to Chandler. "If you don't have feelings for Monica then go talk to that girl over there who won't stop staring at you."

Chandler started thinking quickly. Of course he didn't want to go talk to this girl. The last girl he had gone out with had led to him effectively ignoring Monica for two days, and he never wanted to do that again. But he had to do this to convince Phoebe.

Chandler finally stood up, but, as he moved off the sofa, he felt Joey's bracelet move against his wrist. Chandler grinned to himself. _Perfect._

He walked deliberately over to the table where the woman was sitting, throwing a defiant look back at Phoebe.

"I know what you're thinking," Chandler said when he reached the, admittedly pretty, woman, "Dave Thomas, founder of Wendy's." He pointed to his face.

"I'm Gail," the woman said, laughing.

"Chandler," he replied as he adjusted his sleeves as casually as possible so that the large gold bracelet fell down his arm into plain view of the woman in front of him.

Her eyes were drawn to it immediately. "I… I really have to be somewhere," she said hurriedly, gathering her things and getting up from the table. "But it was nice meeting you." She rushed out the door.

His plan had been a complete success.

Chandler turned to Phoebe, who had gotten up and made her way over to the counter, presumably to observe his conversation better. "What?" he said as he walked over to her, trying to act as confused as possible without grinning. He looked down at his wrist and began pointing at it angrily as though he had just noticed that it was his bracelet that had caused Gail to almost run out of the coffee house.

"Well this is excellent," he said, his fake anger almost totally covering his happiness and relief. "You know, he could have gotten me a VCR, he could have gotten me a set of golf clubs, but no, he has to get me the Women Repeller! The eyesore from the Liberace House of Crap!" His voice grew louder, and he pointed furiously at the bracelet again for emphasis.

Phoebe raised her eyebrows at him.

Chandler knew instantly that she wasn't buying it, so he tried harder. "It's like a reject from the Mr. T collection!" He adopted his best Mr. T voice. "I pity the fool that puts on my jewelry! I do, I do, I pity the fool that-" Chandler trailed off. As he was speaking, he had seen Phoebe's focus move past him again, and so he had turned to see what she was looking at. It was Joey.

Chandler tried to cover for himself, saying that he was practicing his impressions, but Joey just turned and walked out of the coffee house.

Chandler didn't know what to do. Yeah, he didn't like the bracelet, but he wouldn't have said those things if he hadn't been trying to convince Phoebe that he didn't like Monica. But of course he couldn't admit to Joey that he _did_ like Monica… so Chandler was completely at a loss.

He turned back to Phoebe.

She shook her head at him. "If you'd just admit it, then you wouldn't be in this mess."

Chandler flung his arms out in exasperation. What would it take to convince Phoebe? Chandler didn't know, but angry Joey was a bigger problem for him right now.

"I've gotta go talk to him," Chandler said to Phoebe, who nodded, and then he rushed out of the coffee house to try to find his friend.

He caught up with Joey back at their apartment, but nothing he said seemed to make any difference. Joey was really upset, and understandably so. Chandler eventually realized that he had actually lost the contentious bracelet, so he frantically tore up the apartment trying to find it. Seeing it nowhere, Chandler slowly retraced his steps back down to the coffee house where he found Phoebe again and explained to her what had happened.

The pair searched around the coffee house quickly, but found nothing. As they flipped over couch cushions, Phoebe told Chandler quietly about a confrontation between Ross and Rachel that had happened just a few minutes before. Apparently things were worse than ever at the Ross and Rachel camp, and Ross was taking it pretty badly.

Chandler sighed, flopping onto the couch. "It's hopeless," he said exasperatedly.

"What?" Phoebe asked. "Ross and Rachel or finding your bracelet?"

"Both," Chandler affirmed, staring up at the ceiling. "It's all hopeless." Chandler couldn't help but mentally add his situation with Monica to that list.

Phoebe laughed at him and stood up, reaching her hand down to him. "Come on. You'll just have to buy a new one."

Chandler groaned loudly, but took Phoebe's hand and let her help pull him up. "This is the worst."

The pair walked to a nearby jewelry store, and Chandler found the same bracelet Joey had given him. After having it engraved begrudgingly, Chandler and Phoebe returned to the coffee house, Chandler still complaining about the situation to his friend.

No sooner had they stepped in the door than Rachel pulled out Chandler's original bracelet, which Gunther had apparently found.

But as Joey walked in a few moments later and Chandler handed him the original bracelet, pretending that he had gotten one for Joey too, Chandler was okay with the whole situation. Joey wasn't mad at him anymore, and Chandler still had his "woman-repelling" bracelet to be used as an excuse not to flirt with any women who weren't Monica. He was out four hundred bucks, but that was less than half of what Joey had given him the day before, so it was technically a net gain if he really thought about it.

Joey then suggested that he and Chandler take their matching bracelets up to the girls' apartment to show them off to Monica and Ross. Chandler couldn't think of anything to get himself out of it, so he and his "Best Bud," accompanied by a highly entertained Phoebe, left the coffee house and climbed the stairs up to the apartments.

They found Ross and Monica looking through a large cardboard box that was sitting on the coffee table.

"Mom and Dad are turning my room into a gym so they came by with some of my old stuff." Monica explained, soundly slightly annoyed about the "turning her room into a gym" part.

"Oh, cool," Phoebe said, hurrying over to look through the box.

Ross and Monica moved into the kitchen, Ross pulling out his checkbook. Apparently Monica had decided to ask her brother for a loan.

Chandler smiled slightly to himself, glad Monica was going to be okay while she tried to figure out her job situation. Then he turned his attention to the box filled with Monica's old stuff that Joey and Phoebe were currently rummaging through.

"Hey, Mon, what is this?" Phoebe said pulling a large piece of fabric out of the box and holding it out in front of her.

Monica walked over to the living room. "Oh, um, that was my bathing suit from high school. I was, uh, a little bigger then."

"Oh I thought that's what the used to cover Connecticut when it rained," Chandler commented automatically.

Monica gave Chandler a look that was clearly intended to mean "oh really?" but Chandler just offered her a smirk in reply.

She rolled her eyes at him a second later, a smile returning to her face.

That was one of his favorite things about Monica: she understood that most comments he made really weren't to be taken seriously. Most people really didn't get him like that, but Monica was different. Monica had always been different.

"Hey Monica, what's on this videotape?" Joey asked, examining a VHS he had found in the box.

Monica looked at it for a moment. "Hey, you got me, put it in."

She moved over to the VCR as Rachel walked into the apartment and had a very awkward exchange with Ross. Chandler kept his focus on the TV in front of him as the interior of the Geller family home appeared on the screen.

After a few moments, Rachel walked in the front door in the video, her nose much larger than it was currently. Chandler vaguely remembered seeing Rachel look like that before at a Thanksgiving that seemed to have been at a time similar to the one in the video.

"You know what this is?' Monica said to Rachel excitedly. "This is us getting ready for the prom!"

Chandler nodded to himself. If this was Monica and Rachel's senior prom, the Thanksgiving when he had met both the girls for the first time had been about half a year earlier.

Monica father, who had apparently been holding the camera, turned around, and a much larger Monica appeared on the screen.

Chandler recalled this version of his friend vaguely too. He had only seen her like this a couple times, and he had never really paid her any attention. Chandler regretted that now. If he had known how important she was going to be to him, he wouldn't have ever brushed her off like he had. Of course he had been a stupid college kid back then, so there was nothing really to be done about it. Plus there had been an incident the following Thanksgiving where a knife dropped by Monica had accidentally cut off part of Chandler's toe, so he figured that he and Monica were pretty much even on the whole stupid college kid front.

"Some girl ate Monica!" Joey cried, pointing at the TV screen.

"Shut up," Monica replied defensively. "The camera adds ten pounds!"

"Ah, so how many cameras are actually on you?" Chandler shot back at her. There was no way he was missing this perfect opportunity to make fun of Monica, no matter how he felt about her.

Chandler saw her roll her eyes slightly at him again as Rachel hugged her lightly, laughing.

Finally a curly haired Ross found his way into the shot.

Chandler started laughing hysterically, remembering this particular phase in Ross's college style. Chandler knew that his own hair at this point had been even worse than Ross's, so he was pleased that he wasn't going to make an appearance in this video.

The entire group watched as drama began to unfold on the screen before them. Rachel's date wasn't showing up. Ross's parents convinced Ross to go get dressed up to take Rachel. Ross came down the stairs in a tux with a bouquet of flowers. And Rachel left with her date that had apparently arrived after all.

The entire group was silent as they were left with the image of a heartbroken Ross staring at the front door that Rachel had just disappeared behind, the video finally ending.

Present day Ross had moved away from everyone to stand back by the apartment door, still staring at the screen and the rest of the group, despite asserting a few minutes before that he didn't want to watch the video.

"I can't believe you did that," Monica said sincerely, staring at her brother.

"Yeah, well…" Ross mumbled, staring down at his feet.

Rachel stood and walked slowly over to Ross, her face unreadable. She reached him and, without hesitation, kissed him, Ross responding immediately.

The rest of the group watched ecstatically, huge smiles appearing on each of their faces as Phoebe began bouncing up and down in her chair.

"See," Phoebe said gleefully, "he's her lobster!"

At Phoebe's words, Chandler's smile dimmed slightly. Of course he was thrilled about Ross and Rachel. It was seriously about time, and now he didn't have to feel guilty about his involvement in any of it. But all Chandler could do was think about Monica. Ross and Rachel had their lobsters, and Chandler wanted his. Maybe it wasn't supposed to be Monica, but Chandler just felt like it had to be. He had never cared about someone as much as he cared about her. He had never wanted to be with someone as much as he wanted to be with her. Chandler glanced behind him at Monica, who was grinning hugely at her brother and Rachel. Chandler wanted to be the one to make Monica smile like that all the time.

Phoebe, of course, caught him staring at Monica, but Chandler couldn't do the denying thing anymore. He just shrugged at Phoebe and offered her a half-smile before flicking his eyes back to Monica.

Phoebe's smile, on the other hand, grew even bigger. "YES!" she yelled loudly.

Ross and Rachel separated enough to look back at her.

"I'm just so happy for you guys!" Phoebe said in explanation, glancing sideways at Chandler to let him know that the "YES" had been for him.

Ross and Rachel both beamed at her and then waved goodbye to the rest of the group quickly as they exited the apartment to go talk by themselves.

With the attention now off her, Phoebe turned fully back to Chandler, looking at him curiously as though trying to figure out why he seemed so upset now that he had finally basically admitted that he liked Monica.

Chandler sighed quietly and shook his head at her. "Never gonna happen," he mouthed at her, defeated.

Again he looked over at Monica, who had started repacking all her old things into the cardboard box. Phoebe could get as excited as she wanted, but Chandler knew he was right. Monica had no reason to ever want to be with someone like him, and that was it. It might kill him in the end, but that was all that was ever going to happen.

His eyes moved back to Phoebe again. "You say nothing," he mouthed seriously, shaking his head. "Nothing."

Phoebe raised her eyebrows at him but finally sighed and nodded.

Chandler nodded back once and then stood to help Monica with her stuff. He knew that even if things weren't going happen between them, Monica still needed a good friend, and Chandler was glad to be there for her. They were Monica and Chandler: best friends, and nothing was going to change that.

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><p><em>AN: Thanks so much for reading! Reviews are really appreciated!_


	6. The Right Guy

_A/N: As always, I'm so sorry that this took so long to get up. Last week was all tests and papers no time to write. Literally before yesterday the only stuff I had been able to get written was originally written in the margins of my econ and stats notes and then typed up later because that was literally the only time I had to write. But everything's going to be pretty easy for me work-wise in the next few weeks, so I'll be able to get this finished for sure by the time November's over. I'm pretty excited about this chapter, and I really hope you guys like it. Thanks so much for the follows, favorites, and especially reviews. They seriously mean a lot._

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Friends_, but some dialogue is taken from "TOW Ross and Rachel… You Know."_

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><p>Monica stuck the box of childhood memorabilia she had gotten from her parents on a shelf in the back of her closet and then made her way to the living room where she flopped down on the couch. Ross and Rachel still hadn't returned from wherever they had gone, and Phoebe and the guys had left not too long after them, Joey saying he had a date and Phoebe, very excitedly, insisting that she had something important to do at home. She had practically pulled Chandler out of the apartment with her, which struck Monica as odd, but Monica had frankly been a little relieved that she wasn't going to have to spend time alone with Chandler.<p>

Things hadn't been weird between them for the whole day, but they hadn't actually been alone together since the night Chandler had returned home wearing only a pair of woman's underwear and a bathroom stall door. Monica didn't quite think they were ready for that.

Monica had been so freaked out by what had almost happened between them that night, and the next day had been just as bad. She and Chandler had spoken about five sentences to each other in total, and she had only met his eyes maybe twice. She had felt him staring at her worriedly half the day, but Monica was so disconcerted and confused that she didn't even want to see his face.

But after her interview this morning, Chandler had been there for her just as he always had been. He'd given her a hug without even thinking about it, and Monica had let herself sink into his arms. Chandler always made her feel so safe. He really was her best friend.

And that was when Monica decided to just let everything from the other night go. It didn't matter what almost maybe happened or whether or not she wanted that, the only important things were that she and Chandler's friendship made it through any awkwardness and that they would be able to be there for each other no matter what.

Then Ross and Rachel had gotten together, and Monica had been ecstatic for them. It was her oldest friend and her brother; how could she not be happy. But despite the joy around her, Monica couldn't help but feel the smallest pang of sadness. She wanted what Ross and Rachel had: a relationship that was real and was, hopefully, lasting, with a guy who cared about her enough to take her to the prom when her date didn't show up.

A little voice inside Monica that she had been silencing for a couple months now had tried to throw in an observation about Chandler, but Monica had shut it down. After the way the other night had gone, Monica didn't want to do anything that would risk her and Chandler's friendship. Besides, she didn't even like Chandler like that. She _didn't_. Monica always felt like she needed to deny that statement to herself multiple times every time she thought it, which had, for some reason, been pretty often in the past few days.

To try to take her mind of things, Monica had started to repack the box of stuff from her parents so she could store it away for the time being. Chandler, of course, had quickly risen to help her out. As much as he teased her and made fun of her, she knew there was nothing at all that she would ever change about Chandler Bing. She understood him so well, and he understood her. Again she had thought to herself that she didn't have any idea what she would do without him.

But he, Joey, and Phoebe were gone, and Monica had a nice evening to herself to sit around until Rachel got back so the two of them could talk. Monica grabbed herself a small container of ice cream from the freezer and settled down to watch the prom video again.

Another scene came on the TV. Monica's mother was encouraging Monica to dance with her father after she had returned from Prom. Present day Monica grinned at the screen, remembering that dance from all those years ago. Suddenly the video cut out and was replaced by what could easily be the most scarring image Monica had ever seen of her parents. She quickly put down her ice cream and shut off the TV, just as the door opened.

Monica turned around to see who it was. "Rachel! You're back!" she said excitedly, wanting to get the images from the end of the tape out of her head.

Rachel was smiling wider than Monica had seen her smile since that night months before when she and Ross had finally kissed for the first time.

Monica grabbed Rachel's hand and pulled her over to the couch, and, without much urging, Rachel told her friend all about her and Ross's walk through the Village and what they'd talked about and how happy she was.

The pair was up late into the night, and, by the time Monica went to bed, any sadness that she had felt before about not having found her right guy had mostly dissipated. She just had to be happy for Rachel. Her friend really deserved this.

The next morning after feeding her entire group of friends, who, as usual, seemed to be completely unable to cook breakfast for themselves, the phone rang and Monica picked it up.

"Hello?"

"Hello, dear," Monica's mother's voice answered her on the other end of the line.

Monica was a little confused by her mother's phone call. "Oh, hey Mom. What's up? I just saw you yesterday…"

"Oh, I know, Monica," her mother answered with a small laugh, "but last night your father and I had dinner with Dr. Burke - you know Dr. Burke, of course?" she paused.

"Yeah, I know Dr. Burke," Monica said, still unsure as to why this was information she needed to know.

"Well, he needs a caterer for a dinner party on Friday, so I recommended you."

A smile appeared on Monica's face. She was going to be able to make some money! And it was her mother, of all people, who was responsible! "You did?"

Her mother laughed again. "Well, of course, Monica. Be at his apartment on Friday at six to set up, and the party starts at seven." She dictated the address and some other details to Monica who quickly wrote it all down on the pad beside the phone.

"Thank you so much, Mom," Monica said emphatically.

"Of course, dear, it's no trouble. I know you're unemployed now so every little bit helps."

Monica sighed as quietly as she could. Her mother loved her and really did mean well, but sometimes her comments were just a little unnecessary. "Yeah, well, really, um, thanks, Mom."

"Do a good job at the dinner, darling. We'll see you soon."

Monica rolled her eyes. As though she would try _not_ to do a good job. "I will. Love you."

"Love you too, dear."

Monica hung up the phone and smiled again. This was something for her to focus on so she didn't get too hung up on her lack of income and job prospects. Her mom _was _right; every little bit did help.

Rachel came out of her room, apparently about to head down to the coffee house.

"Hey Rach," Monica said quickly, "I'm catering a dinner for one of my dad's friends on Friday. Could you waitress for me?"

Rachel grinned immediately. "Of course, Mon. No problem. I'll see you later." She grabbed her jacket and offered Monica a wave before leaving the apartment.

Monica spent the next few days preparing for the event, wanting to make sure that everything was perfect so Dr. Burke would have something positive to report back to her parents. Chandler dropped by to help every so often, usually with Phoebe.

Everything had stayed completely normal with Chandler, though she hadn't actually had a one-on-one conversation with him since the almost incident. Phoebe, on the other hand, had started acting strangely, smiling at odd times and giving Chandler weird looks, though sometimes those looks went to Monica too. Phoebe seemed particularly happy about something, but Monica had no idea what. Chandler didn't seem to have any idea either, or at least he just ignored Phoebe whenever she tried to catch his eye.

Friday afternoon found Monica sitting around the coffee house with Phoebe, Chandler, and Rachel, who was technically working, when Joey suddenly burst through the door.

"Chandler! Come on! I have a surprise for you!" Joey exclaimed, jumping up and down with excitement.

Chandler glanced sideways at Monica, and she shrugged at him, just as in the dark about what Joey had to show him as Chandler was.

"Okay," Chandler stood up cautiously, and Joey grabbed his arm, pulling him out the door and calling for him to cover his eyes.

Phoebe, Rachel, and Monica exchanged glances.

After a few minutes, curiosity finally won out over the desire to stay in the coffee house, so Phoebe and Monica waved to Rachel and walked back to the building, running into Ross on his lunch break. Monica and Phoebe's account of Joey's odd behavior plus their assertion that Rachel would be getting off work in a matter of minutes convinced Ross to accompany them upstairs instead of stopping by the coffee house.

Phoebe opened the door to Number 19, and Ross and Monica followed her into their friends' apartment.

Chandler and Joey were sprawled out on black leather recliners aimed at an enormous TV.

"Hey!" Chandler and Joey chorused, neither one turning his head to look back at his friends that had just entered the room.

"Hey?" Monica replied, confused. This was _not_ how the guys' apartment had looked the day before.

She, Phoebe, and Ross walked further into the room slowly. Ross made his way around the chairs to get a closer look at the TV, and Monica and Phoebe each stopped behind one of the recliners.

"Um, where'd this all come from?" Ross asked, bemused.

"Joey!" Chandler said excitedly, his eyes still glued to the screen in front of him.

"Wow," Ross said, as though not quite believing the TV and the furniture were real.

"I can't believe two cows made the ultimate sacrifice so that you guys could watch TV with your feet up," Phoebe said, avoiding putting her hands on Chandler's leather recliner that she was standing behind.

"Well, they were chair-shaped cows," Chandler responded, straight-faced. "They never would have survived in the wild." He moved his eyes from the screen to flash a grin at Monica.

She gave him a half smile as she rolled her eyes.

Monica heard Phoebe make a noise that vaguely resembled a laugh, but the raised eyebrows that came with it as she stared down at Chandler seemed to give it another meaning, though Monica wasn't sure what that was. Chandler didn't look at her, and instead sunk down slightly in his seat, his ears reddening slightly.

Monica looked at Phoebe, trying to figure out what was going on, but Phoebe simply grinned and turned her focus back to the TV.

It was these kinds of weird interactions between these two that Monica had been so confused by in the past few days.

"Hi, you guys." Rachel's entrance into the room switched Monica's focus away from Phoebe.

Ross and Rachel shared a little moment together next to the TV (after being shooed away from in front of the TV by the Recliner Guys), and Monica couldn't help but smile as she eavesdropped on the conversation, which Chandler and Phoebe were both also doing very obviously. Monica was just happy that Ross and Rachel were happy. But then Ross said he was going to see Rachel "tonight," and Monica was no longer interested in the happiness of her friend and her brother. Rachel was supposed to help her waitress at Dr. Burke's dinner party tonight, something Ross was _not_ involved in.

"Tonight?" Monica said, walking over to Rachel as Ross left the apartment. Joey and Chandler instantly waved them away from in front of the TV, so she and Rachel, plus Phoebe, walked back into the kitchen. "What's tonight?"

"It is out first official date," Rachel said happily. "Our first date!"

"Uh, hello!" Monica said, trying to get her friend to remember the event tonight.

"…hi," Rachel replied, evidently having no memory of what she was supposed to be doing for Monica.

"Tonight? You're supposed to waitress for me?" Monica spelled it out for her friend. "My catering thing? Any of those trigger anything for you?"

"God, oh God, Monica, I forgot," Rachel replied, rubbing her face in her hands. "This is our first date!"

"Yes, but my _mom _got me this job," Monica tried to impress upon her friend the importance of the event, annoyed that Rachel had completely forgotten about her commitment.

Before Rachel could really respond, Phoebe started talking loudly over both of them. "Okay, I can be a waitress! I can be a waitress!"

Rachel thanked Phoebe profusely, but Monica wasn't totally convinced. "Really Pheebs?" She asked skeptically. "Because, you know, you'd have to actually be a waitress. This can't be like your 'I can be a bear cub' thing." Monica didn't even want to think about that time in Phoebe's life.

Phoebe tilted her head at Monica, almost rolling her eyes. "I can _be _a waitress. Okay, watch this." She stood up and gave Monica and Rachel her best imitation of a diner employee.

Monica shook her head at her friend. Phoebe would be fine, but Monica was just a little annoyed at Rachel for blowing her off. Monica knew she really couldn't be mad at her friend though; she and Ross were so great together, and Rachel _had_ been waiting for their first real date for a really long time.

A few hours later, Monica and Phoebe left the apartment and made their way to Dr. Burke's building. Monica knew they were going to be late, but that really couldn't have been helped at that point. At least she was sure that she had remembered to bring everything.

"I hope Ross and Rachel have a good time tonight," Phoebe said conversationally. "They're so great together."

"Yeah," Monica replied, a slightly sad color tinting her voice.

"Is there something wrong with Ross and Rachel?" Phoebe asked, concerned.

Monica shook her head, forcing herself to smile. "I guess I'm just a little jealous, that's all. I wish I could find that right guy too, ya know?"

Phoebe nodded and smiled back at her, but she seemed to be trying to restrain herself from being more enthusiastic.

Monica furrowed her brow, but then realized what Phoebe must be thinking about. She was going to bring up Chandler again; that's what had happened the last time Monica had been upset about something. Monica complaining about Rachel and the whole Van Damme thing had just let to Phoebe trying to convince Monica that all she cared about was Chandler being there for her. Of course Phoebe had been right that time, but she definitely wasn't right this time. No way. Monica decided she had to change the subject now.

"So, here's what I'm gonna need to you do once we get there," Monica quickly began debriefing her stand-in waitress before Phoebe could casually bring up their friend who was almost certainly still in his apartment lying on a recliner mindlessly watching TV.

Their cab finally pulled up in front of the address her mother had given her. She and Phoebe made the trek up two floors to Dr. Burke's apartment and pressed the buzzer. Monica checked her watch. 15 minutes late. It could have been worse.

The door opened, and there was Dr. Burke.

"It's James Bond," Phoebe said immediately, staring at the man slack-jawed.

Monica decided to pretend her friend hadn't said anything. "Sorry we're late." She smiled at her dad's old friend as he let them inside.

"Ah, that's okay, come on in." He scratched his head lightly, as though confused about what to say. "Um, I'm sorry, is Monica Geller coming? I was told that she was."

Monica turned to her dad's old friend. It had been a pretty long time since he had last seen her, but Monica had assumed he would be able to recognize her. "Dr. Burke, it's me." She offered him a friendly smile.

"Monica?" Dr. Burke replied incredulously. "My God you used to be so-" He stopped himself and then tried again. "I mean you, you… you, you must have lost like-" He sighed finally. "You look great."

"Thanks," Monica grinned at him, laughing at the difficulty he was having. "Thank you. This is my friend Phoebe. She's going to be helping me tonight," Monica introduced her friend.

"Hi, Phoebe. Nice to meet you," Dr. Burke said kindly, shaking Phoebe's hand.

Phoebe just giggled bashfully as Dr. Burke spoke to her, eventually ducking her head and grabbing the trays they had brought and putting them in the refrigerator until she and Monica needed them. Phoebe seemed to find Dr. Burke very attractive, though Monica didn't think anything about his appearance warranted a reaction like Phoebe's.

Dr. Burke turned to Monica. "So, how ya been?"

"I've been great, just great," Monica replied, still smiling. "How have you been?" She tilted her head slightly in an effort to be sympathetic. Monica knew from her parents that Dr. Burke and his wife had gotten divorced less than a year ago.

"Oh, well obviously you know Barbara and I split up, otherwise you wouldn't have done the head tilt," Richard replied knowingly.

"The head tilt?" Monica asked, confused.

"Yeah, since the divorce, when anybody asks me how I am, it's always with a sympathetic head tilt." He tilted his head to the side to demonstrate. "How ya doing? You OK?"

"I'm sorry," Monica said sincerely.

"No no, it, it's fine," Dr. Burke brushed it off, "believe me. I do it too. I always answer with the 'I'm OK' head bob." He started bobbing his head up and down. "I'm OK." He tilted his head again in further demonstration. "You sure?" He switched back to bobbing. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Monica and Phoebe laughed appreciatively.

"Hey listen, I've got to set up the music," Dr. Burke added as Monica began preparing to get the food ready. "I got a new CD changer; of course the divorce only left me with 4 CD's to change."

Monica and Phoebe tilted their heads, playing along. "Oh, that's too bad."

Dr. Burke bobbed his head at them in reply. "I'll survive." He flashed a quick smile at Monica and left the kitchen.

As soon as the door closed behind him, Phoebe immediately started whispering to Monica. "You didn't tell me he was so handsome!"

Monica laughed. "He's my dad's friend. Handsome wouldn't be the first word I'd use to describe him."

Phoebe raised her eyebrows slightly. "I think he likes you."

Monica stared back at her incredulously. "Dr. Burke? What? No! That's crazy, Pheebs."

Her friend shook her head slightly. "He was definitely flirting with you. Just think about it when he comes back."

Monica rolled her eyes and went back to the food she was getting ready. Phoebe was being ridiculous. Dr. Burke hadn't been _flirting_ with her.

A few minutes later, Dr. Burke returned to the kitchen, still smiling. "So what're you making, Monica? Your parents tell me you're a really talented chef."

Monica smiled at the compliment and then showed Dr. Burke the various hors d'oeuvres and entrées she had prepared.

Dr. Burke seemed to be hanging on to her every word, complimenting her cooking and trying to make her laugh.

_Phoebe might have actually been right,_ Monica thought to herself as Dr. Burke touched her arm gently, excusing himself to go put out drinks.

Phoebe seemed to realize this, putting on her best "I told you so" expression when Monica glanced at her.

Monica tried to ignore her, but Phoebe came up beside her anyway.

"Told you," she said simply, smirking.

Monica rolled her eyes. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay, _maybe _he was flirting with me."

Phoebe's expression grew clouded for a moment until she finally spoke, sounding simultaneously reluctant and resolute, as though she really didn't want to say what she was saying but knew she had to say it anyway. "Well, do you like him? He's tall, handsome, older, mature, and he really seems interested in you. And I mean there's that mustache." Phoebe trailed off slightly before refocusing on Monica.

Monica shrugged, unsure. "I don't know. I mean it's Dr. Burke, my _dad_'s friend. That's just weird."

"Okay, but what if he _wasn't _your dad's friend," Phoebe said, still in the same odd manner as before, looking as though she was worried about the answer Monica was going to give her. "You said earlier that you wanted to find the right guy. What he's it?"

Monica paused for a moment. If Dr. Burke was just some guy that she had never met before with no relation to her family, would that be okay? Phoebe was right: he was tall and handsome and there _was_ that mustache. Normally Monica would definitely be interested in a mature, sophisticated, older guy like this, but for some reason, with or without Dr. Burke's ties to her parents, Monica just wasn't attracted to him. He was nice and funny and charismatic, but he just wasn't what Monica was looking for. Whatever right guy Monica was trying to find, she was pretty sure she hadn't found him yet.

Monica shook her head finally. "Even if he wasn't my dad's friend, I still don't think so. He's a great guy and everything, but I just don't think he's that 'right' guy for me, ya know?"

Phoebe's slightly nervous looking expression turned to thrilled in a matter of seconds. "Well what do you want in a right guy then, Mon?" she asked, smiling broadly.

Monica narrowed her eyes at her friend, very confused why Monica's not wanting to go out with Dr. Burke made Phoebe so happy, but before she could respond, the door to the living room opened, and Dr. Burke returned.

He immediately went back to Monica, complaining humorously about all the eye doctors that were going to show up at the party soon.

"You need your eyes checked, Monica?" Dr. Burke asked casually. "I could fit you in sometime if you wanted an appointment."

There it was. The eye appointment thing was somehow tantamount to asking her out, and Monica knew if she said yes it would affirm that she was interested in him. She gave the man in front of her one last look. No, he wasn't the guy for her. She still wasn't sure how she knew, but he just wasn't. "No, I just went to the eye doctor a few weeks ago actually, so I'm fine. Thanks for the offer though."

Dr. Burke's smile dimmed slightly. "Ah. Well, good. Very important to keep up with that." He stood in front of her awkwardly for a moment before the buzzer sounded at the door. "And so it begins!" he joked, grinning half-heartedly as he walked over to the door.

The rest of the night went smoothly, Monica preparing dishes in the kitchen as Phoebe served them to the ophthalmologists out in the rest of the apartment. Dr. Burke appeared in the kitchen to make a joke or two every so often, but he never stayed for longer than a few moments, clearly having recognized that Monica was not interested.

Monica felt a little bad about turning him down, but, more than that, Monica was confused about why she didn't like him in the first place. It really didn't make much sense.

Phoebe hadn't brought up the topic again, but she was in a very cheerful mood for the rest of the night, which only added to Monica's confusion.

Monica kept thinking about what had happened even as she and Phoebe headed back home after the guests had left and Dr. Burke had given her a check, thanking her for such great food and promising to recommend her if someone he knew ever needed a caterer.

If a guy like Dr. Burke wasn't the perfect guy for her then what was she looking for anyway? Monica really had no idea.

When she finally made it back to the apartment, she was greeted by a Rachel who seemed torn between amusement and disappointment.

"Oh, how was your date with Ross?" Monica asked excitedly, joining her friend on the sofa.

Rachel quickly told Monica all about their date and the awkward moment between her and Ross when she started laughing as they were making out back at the apartment.

Monica just shook her head, smiling at her friend. "You'll be fine. Ross is gonna get over it, no problem."

Rachel sighed. "I hope so."

Then Rachel asked about the dinner, and Monica gave her a cursory response, leaving out the Dr. Burke flirting with her parts of the night, not wanting to have to explain her reasoning for turning him down to Rachel too, not in the least because she didn't actually _have_ real reasoning for turning him down.

Monica kept thinking about her decision over and over that night. She didn't regret anything she'd done, but she couldn't keep herself from trying to figure out what this all meant for her. It was like she had some predetermined "right" guy in mind, but she honestly had no idea who that could be.

The next morning, only Phoebe and Rachel were there for breakfast, Chandler and Joey apparently still sitting in their recliners as they had been the day before.

Rachel left a bit later to go see if Ross was next door so she could try to make the situation from the night before up to him before she headed down to the coffee house.

Monica tried to take her mind off of the night before by looking through more job listings. Phoebe seemed to want to talk about the situation, but Monica didn't meet her eyes.

Eventually, a buzzer sounded at the door, and Monica walked over and pressed the button for the intercom.

"Hello?" she said.

"I've got a sandwich delivery for Chandler Bing in Apartment 19," the voice on the other end of the intercom responded. "He said you'd let me in."

Monica sighed exasperatedly. Apparently Chandler and Joey were so lazy they couldn't even get off their recliners to get food. "Come on up," she said finally, pressing the button to let the deliveryman in.

A few moments later there was a knock at her door, and she opened it to pay the man and take the sandwiches.

She turned back to Phoebe after the man had left. "Can you believe those two?" she said, annoyed.

Phoebe shook her head.

Monica sighed again and left the apartment, bag of sandwiches in hand, to go yell at her apparently recliner-ridden friends.

"Are you guys actually too lazy to even have food _delivered_ to your apartment?" Monica said, irritated, the moment she stepped inside the apartment across the hall, already close to shouting at these idiots that she was inexplicably friends with. "Are you two really serious?"

"Did you bring the sandwiches?" Joey called, not even turning his head.

Monica rolled her eyes. "I should just throw these away. You're both pathetic."

Reluctantly she made her way around to the front of the recliners and handed Joey his precious sandwich. She grabbed the second one from the bag and held it out to Chandler, who was grinning at her, as she met his eyes.

Monica's breath caught in her throat, and she almost dropped the sandwich she was handing him. Suddenly the pieces began to fall into place around her. Just seeing his eyes and his smile was enough to answer the question that had been bothering her since the previous night. Monica couldn't really be interested in Dr. Burke… because she was completely and totally in love with Chandler.

Monica realized that she must look terrified, because Chandler's expression had quickly changed from one of amusement to one of concern. She adjusted her mouth into some semblance of a smile, adding in an eye roll to try to be convincing, as she thrust the sandwich out to Chandler and backed away from her friends.

"Just don't send any more food to our apartment," Monica said from behind them, trying to keep her voice steady.

Chandler stopped looking at the TV to turn and stare at her, worry evident in his face.

Monica tried to look reassuring before she practically bolted from the apartment.

She started breathing in and out slowly as she stood alone in the hallway. She couldn't go back to her apartment because Phoebe was there, and she, more than anyone, would know that Monica was in the middle of some sort of crisis.

_Chandler_? She was actually _in love_ with _Chandler?_ How had that happened? Monica leaned back on the wall beside her door. She had been completely blindsided by this.

_Um, no you weren't,_ that little voice she had been suppressing suddenly spoke up in her head. _Remember how upset you got when Chandler wasn't paying attention to you the other day? And then you almost_ kissed_ him?_ Monica tilted her head back to stare at the ceiling. This had been coming for weeks, hadn't it? Ever since that stupid kiss in the coffee house.

_It just makes no sense!_ Monica thought to herself, completely overwhelmed. _He's my best friend, and that whole Betty and Neil thing was months ago. This shouldn't be happening._

But it was. When Monica had looked into his eyes just a few moments before, she had felt like everything suddenly made sense. Here was this guy who was always there for her with a hug and smile. This guy who could make her laugh no matter how sad she was, and who she could never be mad at, even if he made her bring him food because he was too lazy to get off his recliner.

And Monica was in love with him. Completely head-over-heels in love with him.

It had taken the prospect of going out with another guy to make her realize it, but here she was standing in a hallway having some sort of breakdown because she was in love with her best friend and she had no idea what to do about it.

All she knew was that she couldn't face him again until she figured this out. And to figure it out, she definitely needed to be alone.

Monica composed herself as well as she could, trying to readopt the exasperated expression that she had been wearing when she had left her apartment initially.

She took a deep breath and finally opened the door.

Phoebe looked up at her curiously from the table, raising her eyebrows, wordlessly asking her what had happened with the guys.

Monica shook her head, trying to look as annoyed as possible. "It's pitiful. I don't think an earthquake could move those two."

Phoebe rolled her eyes and stood up. "I'll go see if I can stop the madness."

Monica breathed the smallest sigh of relief at Phoebe's statement. She would get to be alone. "Good idea," Monica replied, trying to act as normal as possible.

Phoebe nodded, looking very sure of herself as she passed Monica and left the apartment, for once not noticing that her friend was anything but okay.

Monica could not have been more grateful.

As the door shut behind Phoebe, Monica walked to the living room and collapsed on the sofa.

"I'm in love with Chandler," she said out loud for the first time. It sounded so final, but she knew that it was the truest statement she had spoken in months. She sighed. _What am I going to do about this?_ Monica really didn't have any idea.

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><p><em>AN: Just a chapter or two left now guys, depending on how exactly I do this next one. Thanks so much for reading, and please review!_


	7. Bad Weeks

_A/N: I'm so incredibly sorry about the far too lengthy delay with this chapter. I can't even blame school work this time; this was completely on me. But I do think the extra time this chapter took was good for it. In the original plan, Chapter 7 was going to be the end of this fic, but I decided parts of it needed to be in Monica's head, so there's going to be two pretty short chapters after this. They're already fairly well outlined in the margins of my econ, stats, and politics notebooks, so they shouldn't take too long to get up (of course I said that last time, and look what happened there)._

_Anyway, you guys really are amazing, and your reviews, favorites, and follows really and truly mean the world to me. Thank you guys so much for following along with this, delays and all. You all are the best._

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Friends_, but some dialogue is taken from "TOW Ross and Rachel… You Know" and "TOW Joey Moves Out."_

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><p>Chandler's gaze remained on the apartment door as Monica disappeared into the hallway. Monica had looked pretty close to this freaked out the other night when they had almost kissed, but Chandler had at least understood why that time; <em>this<em> was just out of the blue. One second she was trying not to smile as she handed a sandwich to Joey, and the next she was staring at Chandler as though he had suddenly mutated into some sort of monster.

_Did I do something to let her know that I like her and is _that _what made her run off?_ Chandler thought to himself as he finally turned back to the TV, his eyes not seeing the characters that drifted across the screen. _That sounds about right for my life right now. What is _wrong_ with me?_

He shook his head and turned down to the sandwich in his lap that Monica had practically thrown at him in her effort to get out of their apartment as fast as possible_. At least this sandwich won't run away at the sight of me,_ he thought dejectedly, removing the paper it was wrapped in. _Maybe Joey has his priorities right._

Beside Chandler, Joey was already three-quarters of the way through his sandwich, an enormous grin plastered on his face as his eyes remained fixed on the TV. _That's the life_, Chandler reflected. _A sandwich, a recliner, a big TV, and no worries about why your best friend, who you've basically fallen in love with, seems scared to be in the same room with you._

Chandler sighed. There was no question in his mind now that he was in love with Monica, but at the same time he was completely certain that she didn't feel the same way, and, judging by the events of a few minutes before, she would never feel the same way.

Phoebe had tried to get him to open up about his feelings for Monica, but he wouldn't budge. Phoebe knew that he liked her, and that was it. Chandler hated to even think about it himself, let alone talk to anyone else about it. It was just too painful.

_Stupid Phoebe, making me confront my feelings,_ Chandler thought to himself, taking a slightly-more-menacing-than-necessary bite of his sandwich_. I'd probably be living happily in denial right now if it wasn't for her._

As if on cue, Phoebe's voice filled the room, the apartment door opening behind him and Joey. "Okay, we have got to get you lazy boys out of these chairs."

Chandler and Joey ignored their friend until she walked into the apartment and stood directly in front of the TV.

The guys immediately objected, waiving their friend away from the screen.

Phoebe sighed, exasperatedly. "You know, you guys should go outside and be with the three-dimensional people."

Chandler shrugged. Getting out of his recliner would mean seeing Monica, and he was pretty sure she didn't want to be around him right now.

"No," Joey replied, flipping through channels, "inside good, outside bad."

"You guys are so pathetic," Phoebe said, walking around to stand between their chairs. "I, oh, OH XANADU! OH!" she exclaimed, grabbing a stool and sitting down in between the recliners at the sight of the film.

Chandler smirked slightly as he turned to Joey. "She's one of us now."

The hours slipped by as the trio stared at the lit up screen in front of them. Joey periodically switched from one channel to another, but, besides that, nothing changed. Chandler kept his focus on TV and as far away as possible from the woman across the hall.

The light outside the window gradually faded away, and Joey's stomach audibly growled.

"Time for food?" Phoebe asked, raising her eyebrows.

Joey perked his head up. "How about Chinese? We can just get it delivered to Monica's like we did for lunch."

Chandler shrunk down in his seat. "I don't know about that. I don't think it's right to make her do that again. She seemed pretty annoyed by it earlier." The corners of Chandler's mouth moved downward as his mind turned to his friend for the first time in hours.

At Chandler's words, Phoebe seemed to snap out of his TV induced trance, refocusing her eyes on Chandler and giving him a searching look as though to ask what had happened.

Chandler didn't look at her, instead keeping his eyes locked on his feet.

Phoebe seemed to consider the situation before finally sighing. "Okay, if you get Chinese delivered here, I can get up and get it."

Chandler finally turned to his friend and offered her a grateful smile and a nod as he reached for the phone. He may have been annoyed at his friend for constantly pressing him for information, but it was really nice to know that Phoebe had at least some idea what he was going through with Monica.

Chandler ordered food for the three of them, and then they resumed their obsessive TV watching.

Half an hour later the apartment door opened, marking the entrance of Ross and Rachel, about to go out on their second date.

"Well, we just wanted to stop by and, uh, say goodnight," Ross said slowly from the doorway.

"Goodnight," chorused the trio at the TV, each offering a slight wave back at their friends.

"Look at that, they won't even turn their heads," Ross said to Rachel disappointedly.

Rachel sighed. "Alright you guys, taking off my shirt."

Joey pulled out a small dentist's mirror to see behind him. He grinned as he saw the reflection. "Nah, she's lying!"

The buzzer sounded by the front door.

"Could you get that?" Chandler asked, eyes still glued to the screen.

Chandler heard Ross scoff, but he pressed the intercom button anyway. "Yes?"

"Chinese delivery for Chandler Bing," the voice on the other end responded.

"Seriously?" Ross directed at the group by the TV. "Come on up," he added to the deliveryman, pressing the button to let him in.

When the man arrived at the apartment a few minutes later, Ross reluctantly took the food and paid for it using money that Chandler had passed to him without moving his head. As annoyed by Chandler, Joey, and Phoebe as he seemed to be, Ross was still a good sport.

As Chandler distributed the food among Joey, Phoebe, and himself, Ross's beeper went off, and a quick phone call informed him of a museum emergency that he had to attend to.

As he and Rachel began to leave the apartment, Phoebe finally turned to face them.

"Rach, did you see Monica this afternoon?" she asked.

Chandler's ears perked up at Monica's name, and he inclined his head back slightly to hear the conversation.

"Hmm," Rachel thought for a moment. "I don't think so. I got off work an hour or two ago, but I don't think I actually saw her in the apartment. I don't know what she's doing."

Phoebe nodded as though she had almost expected this and finally stood up, Chinese food in hand. "I'll go see if I can find her. I think I need to get out of here."

Ross and Rachel laughed and exited, Phoebe following them after throwing one last look at Chandler, which he pretended not to notice.

As Chandler and Joey ate in relative silence, still focused on the TV in front of them, Chandler strained his ears to hear anything happening in the apartment across the hall. But his listening proved fruitless, as he heard nothing besides the closing of a door, which marked Phoebe's entrance into the girl's apartment.

Chandler sighed slightly as the minutes ticked by; it seemed he wasn't going to see Monica for the rest of the night.

But, just after ten, an alarm went off loudly, jerking Chandler and Joey out of their now _Beavis and Butt-head_-centric stupor.

"Is that the fire alarm?" Joey asked, glancing at Chandler.

"Yeah." Chandler reached down and felt the floor. "Oh, it's not warm yet; we still have time."

"Cool," Joey replied, turning back to the TV.

A minute later Chandler finally sighed as the alarm continued. "I guess we should probably go."

Joey nodded at him glumly. "Yeah."

The pair quickly made it out of their apartment to join the rest of the tenants on the sidewalk.

"Probably just some guy who burnt his food or something," Joey said as they walked through the small crowd of people.

Chandler started to respond, but then he spotted a small dark-haired woman standing alone on the sidewalk rubbing her arms to keep warm. Monica.

"Hey! Monica!" Chandler called to her before he could stop himself.

She looked around to see who had said her name, and finally locked eyes with Chandler. Her expression more closely resembled a deer in the headlights than any expression Chandler had ever seen. She seemed completely shocked to see him, as though Chandler was some terrifying figure from her past rather than one of her closest friends.

Joey started walking toward her quickly, already yelling to ask her if she knew what had happened.

Monica just shook her head, her eyes retreating to the ground as Joey, followed more slowly by Chandler, reached her.

"Good to see you guys out of your recliners," she said finally, looking up at Joey rather than Chandler.

Joey laughed in reply. "Most comfortable couple days of my life for sure."

Monica nodded absently, her eyes returning to the sidewalk.

"You're lucky we didn't have Chinese delivered to your place for dinner," Joey continued. "Phoebe and I were up for it, but Chandler said it would bother you too much."

At this statement, Monica glanced sideways at Chandler, fear still behind her eyes.

He offered her a shrug and a small smile, and he was sure that for the briefest of moments a ghost of a smile appeared on Monica's face before she turned back down to the ground.

Chandler felt more confused than before. He couldn't think of any reason for her to be freaked out, but then that little smile made it seem like she was okay. It all just made no sense.

Finally they were given the all-clear to go back inside, the alarm having indeed been caused by a one of the other tenants burning his late dinner.

Chandler, Joey, and Monica walked back up to their floor together and said their goodnights in the hallway, Monica still avoiding his eyes. Chandler hated it, but there wasn't anything he could do; this was something Monica was going to have to figure out herself. He really didn't know what was happening.

The next day, Chandler sat at the bar with Joey as they ate breakfast, Joey conversationally bringing up odd topics like Captain Crunch's Eyebrows, just like any other Sunday morning.

But as Joey finished his cereal, he licked his spoon, and then threw it unceremoniously back in the drawer, as though that was something he did everyday. Chandler was scandalized, but soon found that Joey not only regularly put back spoons without actually washing them, but also had used Chandler's toothbrush both to brush his teeth and to unclog the toilet.

As Joey walked back into his room, Chandler remained in the kitchen, disgusted by his friend's living habits. Joey had always been a pretty great roommate, but apparently Chandler had given him a little more credit than he deserved.

Chandler shuddered one more time, but then decided that all he could do was put this out of his mind and hope that Joey had learned something from their conversation.

Joey's spoon-licking, however, was only the beginning of Chandler's crappy week. Monday morning he discovered that he had a major presentation to do for Friday, among other excessively boring and mind-numbing tasks required by his stupid job. As he sifted through the pile of papers that had materialized on his desk over the weekend, it quickly became clear that he was going to have to work late this entire week.

Chandler could handle issues with Joey, and he could handle working late at a job that he really didn't like, but what Chandler couldn't deal with was Monica. He was going crazy trying to figure out what was going on with her, completely ignoring his assertion from Saturday night that Monica needed to work through whatever this was herself. She hadn't met his eyes in days, and she would almost run out of rooms if Chandler was in them, making excuses about cooking or cleaning, which everyone seemed to buy. Even Phoebe, who had stopped badgering Chandler about Monica since he was spending so much time at work and so little time with the rest of the group, didn't have any side-glances for Monica when she sped away from Chandler.

He started dreading getting home every night because he knew that he would see Monica and have to go through the torture of "is she going to look at me today?" Chandler couldn't take it. He was sick of little things making Monica ignore him. He just wanted his best friend back.

Finally Saturday morning came; his presentation was over, and Joey had invited him to go to a brunch with one of his co-stars.

Before they left, they stopped in at the girl's apartment.

Chandler and Joey greeted Monica and Phoebe, who were sitting at the kitchen table.

Monica, as per her behavior the last week, kept her eyes down as she offered a quiet "hey."

"Ooh look at you fancy lads!" Phoebe asked Chandler and Joey jovially. "What's the occasion?"

Joey explained about the brunch just as Rachel came out of her room calling over to Phoebe. "Okay, ready when you are."

"I can't believe you guys are actually getting tattoos," Monica said, shaking her head, a laughter in her voice that Chandler had not heard directed toward him for the entire week.

Chandler put down his glass of orange juice, not having heard about Rachel and Phoebe's plan before. "Excuse me, you guys are getting tattoos?"

"Yes," Rachel replied, a degree of excitement in her voice, "but you cannot tell Ross cause I want to surprise him."

As Phoebe described the lily tattoo she planned on getting on her shoulder in honor of her mother, Ross walked in and asked what she was talking about.

After a half-hearted lie, Phoebe finally broke down and told Ross she was getting a tattoo.

This weakness of Phoebe under pressure reminded Chandler of that day in the coffee house back in November, before things had gotten so complicated and when Monica would still look at him.

Ross, the gang discovered, actually was against tattoos, putting a little snag in Rachel's plan.

Before Ross could figure anything out, Monica distracted him. "Ross, come sign this birthday card for Dad. We have to head out soon."

Phoebe looked up at Monica curiously. "Is Dr. Burke coming to your dad's party too?"

Monica narrowed her eyes at her friend and shrugged. "Yeah, probably. He's my dad's best friend."

Something stirred in Chandler's mind at the mention of this Dr. Burke. "Wait, is that the guy you catered for last week?"

Monica didn't answer.

Phoebe, clearly recognizing that her friend didn't want to talk about it, decided to respond to Chandler's question herself. "Yeah, that was Dr. Burke. He was _totally_ flirting with Monica while we were there too. He kept making jokes about ophthalmologists, and then he asked Monica if she wanted an eye exam. I'm pretty sure that's eye doctor code for asking her out."

Ross opened his mouth indignantly, turning to Monica. "Dr. Burke was _flirting_ with you? He's like 50!"

Phoebe shook her head dreamily. "Who cares if he's 50? He's sophisticated and tall and _so_ handsome."

"And that mustache," Rachel added nodding along with Phoebe's words.

Ross turned his gaze to Rachel. "You too?"

Rachel shrugged. "Dr. Burke is really sexy, Ross. Sorry." Then she narrowed her eyes and looked down at Monica. "How come you didn't tell me he was flirting with you? That's something I would have wanted to hear about!"

Monica shrugged in lieu of an answer as she glanced down at her watch. "Time to go, Ross. See you guys later."

Ross kissed Rachel quickly and then followed his sister out the door.

"We should head out too, Chandler," Joey said, setting down his cup of coffee.

Chandler nodded absently, following his friend out the door. Was this sexy Dr. Burke guy why Monica had been acting so weird in the past week? Of course Monica probably liked him, even though he was friends with her parents. The way that Phoebe and Rachel were going on about him just confirmed this fact in Chandler's mind. Was she being weird about Chandler because she knew that he liked her, but she didn't like him? Was she having some secret affair with this doctor guy, and was _that_ why she wouldn't answer any questions about him?

Chandler halted his train of thought, knowing he was probably blowing things a little out of proportion. Still, it was odd that Monica started acting weird around Chandler right when she met Dr. Burke. Chandler sighed, wishing for the millionth time that week that things with Monica would just go back to normal.

Chandler was relatively preoccupied as they arrived at Joey's co-star's apartment, but an offer from the other actor for Joey to buy his apartment pulled Chandler back to reality.

_Joey would never move out, would he?_ Chandler thought to himself as his friend walked off to look at the apartment's kitchen. _No, that'd be crazy; Joey can barely even pay rent with me, much less get a place for himself._ But Chandler was still worried. He didn't want to lose his "best bud," as proclaimed by their matching gold bracelets that had mysteriously gone missing just a day after he and Joey got them. Chandler was pretty sure Joey would never find them hidden deep under Chandler's mattress.

When Joey returned from the tour of the apartment, Chandler tried to act normal, but the prospect of Joey moving out really bothered him, so he asked him about it on their way home.

Joey said over and over that he wasn't interested in his co-star's apartment, but Chandler could tell that there was more to it than that.

When they made it back to the apartment, Joey finally gave in. "Alright, you want the truth? I'm thinking about it."

Chandler froze. This was what he had been worried about, but he hadn't actually expected that it would come to this. "What?"

"I'm sorry," Joey said apologetically. "I'm 28 years old, I've never lived alone, and I'm finally at a place where I've got enough money that I don't need a roommate anymore."

Chandler immediately got defensive. Who was Joey to say he just didn't need him anymore? "Woah, woah, woah. I don't_ need_ a roommate either, OK?" he said confrontationally. "I can afford to live here by myself. Ya know, I may have to bring in somebody once a week to lick the silverware." He glared at his friend, referencing Joey's actions the previous weekend.

"What're you getting so bent out of shape for, huh?" Joey asked, clearly irritated. "It's not like we agreed to live together forever. We're not Bert and Ernie." He smirked at Chandler.

"I'm aware that we're not gay puppets, alright," Chandler replied indignantly. "Look, you know what? If this is the way you feel, then maybe you should take it." He picked up his jacket and started walking to his room.

"Well that's how I feel," Joey replied immediately.

Chandler stopped and turned back to him. "Well then maybe you should take it!"

"Well then maybe I will."

"Fine with me." Chandler turned back to his room.

"Great," Joey replied, walking over to his own door. "Then you'll be able to spend some more quality time with your real friends: the spoons!"

Both doors slammed simultaneously.

A few minutes later, Chandler heard Joey's door open and then the front door close, so Chandler slipped out into the living room.

He sighed and sunk down into his recliner. First Monica and now Joey? It seemed like that was all that was happening to him lately. Monica would start ignoring him, and then he would get in a fight with Joey. It was like nothing could ever go right for him if he didn't have Monica. Things were so much easier when he could talk to her. He knew that she would be able to help him figure out this mess with Joey in no time, and he almost got up to track her down in the other apartment before he remembered that she was at her parent's house with Ross for the day. _Even if she was here_, he though sullenly, _who knows if I could have ever gotten her to talk to me anyway._

Chandler sighed again. He might have no way to fix things with Monica, but he could fix things with Joey. He stood and went to his room to grab his coat so he could run down to a store and grab them some dinner and a bag of plastic spoons as a peace offering.

He had only just started unpacking the bags from the store when Joey walked in the door.

The pair half-stammered apologies at each other until deciding that things were good between them.

"So I got you something," Chandler said, smiling, as he picked up the bag of spoons and tossed it to his friend.

"Plastic spoons," Joey grinned appreciatively. "These'll go great in my new place, you know, until I get real ones."

Chandler's face fell instantly. "What?"

Joey, not understanding, explained why he would need real spoons until Chandler stopped him, asking about his "new place."

"I'm moving out, like we talked about," Joey elaborated.

"Well, I didn't think that was serious," Chandler replied grabbing the bag of spoons back from his friend. "You know, I though that was just a fight."

Joey tried to explain himself, but Chandler didn't want to listen. Joey was moving out. After all these years. "Well, there you go."

Another comment from Chandler about the foosball table sparked another argument over who would get to keep it. Eventually Chandler challenged Joey to a game; the winner would get the table.

And about 20 minutes later that winner was Joey.

Chandler couldn't handle it. He didn't care about the table; he just wanted his friend.

Chandler grabbed his coat and opened the apartment door. "Congratulations." He shut it behind him probably harder than was necessary.

Chandler stood in the hallway for a moment, staring at Apartment 20 across the hall, knowing that this was the exact moment when he would have normally gone to talk to Monica. But he shook his head and turned to go down to the coffee house, hoping that the rest of the gang had better places to be that Saturday night.

Their orange couch was mercifully empty as Chandler walked in, ordered quickly, and sat down, sighing.

Gunther brought him a steaming cup, and Chandler thanked him absently.

He took a sip and set the mug down, grabbing a magazine from the table and carelessly flipping through the pages. This had really been one of the worst weeks he'd had in a long time, and there was no sign that things were going to get better.

After moping in the coffee house for half an hour, getting more and more upset as each minute passed, Chandler decided that he really needed some human company, so he headed back up to the girl's apartment, hoping to find Ross, Rachel, Phoebe, or a Monica who was okay with talking to him, if that was possible.

He entered the apartment and found Phoebe and Monica sitting at the kitchen table.

Phoebe instantly got up to show Chandler her tattoo, which was really just a tiny blue dot.

As Phoebe filled him in on she and Rachel's trip to the tattoo parlor, he grabbed a slice of pizza from a half empty box, suddenly realizing how hungry he was since he hadn't gotten to have dinner before he had left the apartment.

A few minutes later Joey walked in. "Hey guys, I have something to tell you."

Chandler gave his friend a half glance before staring down at his feet. If Joey told the rest of the group, that would make it official. This was really going to happen.

"I'll get Ross and Rachel," Phoebe said, standing up and walking to Rachel's door. She pounded on it for a moment. "JOEY HAS SOMETHING TO TELL US ALL. GET OUT HERE."

Chandler couldn't help but smile at Phoebe's words.

After a few minutes, Ross and Rachel appeared from Rachel's bedroom, each of them grinning widely and looking very disheveled.

Chandler saw Monica roll her eyes slightly at her brother and her roommate.

Joey instructed everyone to sit down in the living room as he stood up in front of the TV.

"Okay," he began, taking a deep breath. "The guy who had that brunch today is moving out soon, and he suggested I take his apartment. I've never lived alone, and I'm making enough money to afford this new place, so I've decided I'm gonna do it."

Ross shook his head slightly, and Phoebe and Rachel's mouths fell open, as they all stared at Joey. But Monica wasn't looking at Joey; her eyes had finally fallen on Chandler.

Chandler stared back at her, amazed by the fact that Monica had actually allowed herself to look at him.

She seemed like she was still wary of locking eyes with him, but more than that she looked concerned. Of course she, out of everyone, would understand how upset Joey moving out would make Chandler. Behind whatever façade she had been putting on in almost ignoring him for an entire week, she was still the same old Monica that understood him better than anyone.

And Chandler loved her for it.

Chandler didn't want to look away from his friend now that she had finally acknowledged his existence. He saw her take a quick breath as she continued to stare at him, and he noticed something else besides concern in her eyes, something he didn't recognize.

"Chandler, are you gonna be okay about this?" Joey's voice pulled Chandler away from Monica.

It took him a second to refocus, but then he shrugged. "Yeah, sure. No big deal." Chandler wasn't sure if Joey had bought his lie, and a quick glance over at Monica told Chandler that she certainly hadn't.

As upset as Chandler felt about Joey moving out, he still wished he could do his little happy dance. Monica still cared about him! Things could actually be okay!

Chandler tried to catch Monica's eye as he and Joey said their goodbyes and headed back to their apartment a half hour later, but, apart from offering him a wave and the ghost of a smile, Monica didn't look at him.

Still, it was progress.

Chandler slipped off to his room quickly, even though Joey seemed like he really wanted to talk to him. Chandler just really didn't feel up for it. Now that he was away from Monica - the only good thing that had come from this Saturday - he just wanted to be alone. It had been a long day.

The next week was difficult for Chandler, and he could tell that Joey was having a tough time too. The plan was for him to move in the following weekend, so Joey needed to pack up all his stuff. Chandler was helping him out whenever he could. He wanted to spend as much time with Joey as possible before their life as roommates finally came to an end.

Saturday morning arrived more quickly than Chandler wanted it to, and the whole gang came over early to help them load up the truck.

Chandler said a sad goodbye to the recliners and the TV as he, Joey, and Ross carried all the heavy stuff downstairs.

Eventually just a few boxes were left in the apartment.

"Hey, you guys are still gonna come visit me, right?" Joey asked worriedly.

"Oh yeah, you got the big TV. We'll be over there all the time." Ross stopped as he noticed Chandler glaring at him. "Except when we are here," he amended his statement.

"I know you're just moving uptown, but I'm really gonna miss you," Phoebe said sadly as she taped up a box.

Monica reached out to pat Joey's arm. "I know! How can you not be across the hall anymore?"

As Rachel offered her sentiments to Joey, Monica turned to glance at Chandler sympathetically, and he offered her a small smile in return.

Her eyes grew cloudy and her brow furrowed as though she was debating over something in her head.

Chandler wasn't able to consider Monica's expression as he was distracted by Joey who was explaining to Rachel why he had her bra.

"We, uh, we used it to, you know, fling water balloons off the roof." Joey looked over at Chandler. "Remember that? Those junior high kids couldn't even get theirs across the street."

Chandler nodded. "Yeah, I remember," he said softly.

The room grew quiet until Ross suggested that he and the girls take the rest of the boxes back to the truck.

Chandler and Joey were left alone in the barren apartment.

Chandler hopped off the counter where he had been sitting. "So, uh, you want me to give you a hand with the foosball table?" he asked, wanting things with Joey to end on a good note.

Joey looked at him for a moment. "Nah, you keep it," he said finally, offering him a small smile, "you need the practice."

"Thanks." Chandler knew this was about more than the foosball table.

"So, I guess this is it," Joey said finally.

"Yeah, right, yeah, I guess so," Chandler said, moving to usher Joey to the door.

Joey stopped by the doorframe and turned around. "Listen, uh, I don't know when I'm gonna see you again..."

"Well, I'm guessing tonight at the coffee house," Chandler replied in his usual joking tone.

Joey laughed slightly. "Right, yeah. Okay, um, take care."

"Yeah," Chandler replied quietly.

Joey stepped into the hallway, and Chandler closed the door behind him.

He turned back to the almost empty living room. Joey was really gone.

But suddenly he heard a noise behind him and a human sized object crashed into him.

Joey had come back for one last hug.

And then he left. For good this time. But Chandler was okay. Everything was going to be fine.

He halfheartedly spun one of the rods on the foosball table, and then slowly walked out of the kitchen, heading to his room.

But a noise behind him made him stop and turn around.

Monica was standing alone in the doorway, her face simultaneously nervous and resolute. That unfamiliar emotion Chandler had spotted in her face the weekend before was present even more strongly in her eyes.

Chandler had no idea what this was about.

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><p><em>AN: Thank you guys so much for reading! Reviews are so appreciated!_


	8. Confession

_A/N: As always, sorry for the massive delay. This time I give credit to that horrific beast: finals (and my mother asking me to clean and decorate the house when I finally got home). But this chapter's finally done, and I really hope you guys like how it turned out. Thanks so much for reading this story and for following, favoriting, and especially reviewing. That all really means so much to me. Enjoy!_

_Disclaimer: I do not own _Friends.

* * *

><p>Monica clutched at the box she was carrying down from what had formerly been Chandler and Joey's apartment. Chandler had looked absolutely crushed by Joey moving out, but he had let Joey do what he had to do because Chandler was the kindest and most loyal person Monica knew.<p>

Monica sighed quietly so Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel in front of her wouldn't notice. These past two weeks had been absolute disaster for Monica. After discovering, out of the blue, that she was in love with her best friend, she had spent an entire afternoon in shock, trying to figure out what this meant for her. She couldn't just go and tell Chandler that she was in love with him. She didn't even _want_ to be in love with him… or did she? And how did he feel about her? Monica had been completely at a loss. She had heard Rachel and Ross hanging around the apartment, but Monica had stayed holed up in her room, not wanting to see anyone.

She had finally decided that she had to eat something, and Phoebe had walked in as she was standing over the stove.

Her friend had been holding a container of Chinese food, and she had eyed Monica with suspicion.

"Chandler said you got mad at the guys earlier, so he made us get food delivered to their apartment instead of yours this time," Phoebe had said, holding up her container for emphasis, her eyes still searching Monica's face.

Monica had kept her expression as blank as possible, but she had offered her friend a small smile that was completely real. It was nice of Chandler not to bother her with their food again. "Good to know my threats can work sometimes," she had said evenly.

Monica's reply had seemed to pass Phoebe's inspection, so her friend had picked a different line of reasoning. "Rachel said she didn't see you when she was at the apartment earlier."

Monica had nodded, thinking quickly. "Yeah, I was taking a nap. I guess catering last night tired me out a bit."

Phoebe had finally stopped staring at Monica as though she were hiding something, and then Phoebe had sat down at the kitchen table and explained how she had been sucked in by the guys' TV.

Monica had been relieved to be off the hook, but seeing Chandler outside later that night after the fire alarm had completely thrown her off. She couldn't look at him; she didn't want to. It was all too confusing.

So instead of confronting him about things, she had basically ignored him for an entire week, and no one had seemed to notice. Well, no one except Chandler himself, who had seemed really upset. Monica felt terrible about it, but she told herself that she would fix things once she figured everything out.

Provided she actually _did _figure everything out.

It was Joey moving out that had called Monica back to the aid of her friend. She knew as soon as Joey made his announcement that this was really going to hurt Chandler. So, without even considering it, she had turned to her best friend, who she hadn't spoken to all week, to make sure he was okay.

He had seemed startled that Monica was looking at him, and she hadn't blamed him; this had been on her for being so distant. But once Monica had looked at Chandler, it had been hard to look away. Those sad eyes that had lost their usual joking Chandler sparkle. The corners of his mouth that had turned downward hopelessly. Monica had wanted nothing more than to give him a hug and stay with him to make sure nothing ever made him sad again. She was hit again with the reality that she was in love with him. She was_ so_ in love with him. Monica had taken a shallow breath as she stared at him, her mind registering faintly that she wouldn't mind staring at him forever, but a comment to Chandler from Joey had pulled them back to reality.

She hadn't really talked to Chandler in the days following Joey's announcement, but that was mostly because when he wasn't at work he was at his place helping Joey pack up his stuff.

But today the entire gang had all gone to help Joey move out, and Chandler had just looked resigned to the fact that Joey was leaving. Chandler had stayed quiet and out of the way as everyone else had helped Joey gather up the last of his stuff.

And Monica knew that she had to do something to make him feel better.

But here was where Monica had a problem. If she went to go help out Chandler, he would inevitably ask her why she hadn't talked to him, or even really looked at him, in two weeks. So she had to decide if she was okay with just going for it and telling Chandler the truth. There wasn't any other solution. Either she didn't help Chandler and avoided one-on-one situations with him for the rest of the foreseeable future, or she told him she was in love with him. She could lie about it, but Chandler would never buy it; he knew her too well for that.

As she reached the street with her friends to load the final boxes into the truck, Monica let herself imagine what it would be like to be with Chandler. Having her best friend with her all the time. Afternoons flipping through magazines together at the coffee house. Evenings spent curled up together on her sofa. Monica realized quickly that all of that was pretty typical Chandler and Monica friendship stuff. Or it had been before things got so complicated.

But then she let her mind go further. That kiss from the coffee house all those months before. As hard as she had tried to forget about that kiss, it was still ingrained in her memory as the most perfect kiss of her life. She was pretty sure that she was okay with getting kissed like that again.

Monica took a deep breath, resolute. She couldn't stand the thought of Chandler being alone up in his apartment. She turned to her friends. "I think I'm gonna go make sure Chandler's okay."

Ross, Phoebe, and Rachel nodded at her seriously, all of them clearly worried about their friend who was soon going to be without a roommate.

Monica quickly promised to meet the rest at the gang at the coffee house later, and then she hurried back up the stairs, not allowing herself to overthink what she was doing.

She was so concentrated on getting up the stairs as fast as possible that she was almost on top of Joey before she noticed he was there.

"Oh! Hey!" Monica said, suddenly pulled back to reality.

Joey offered her a sad smile. "Hey."

"How's Chandler?" she asked, but Joey merely shrugged, his expression downcast.

"This is it," Monica said finally, stretching her arms out to give her friend a hug.

Joey returned her gesture and then started back down the stairs, offering Monica one last wave.

She turned forward and began to walk up the last few steps slowly. Was this really what she wanted?

She stopped in front of Apartment 19 and sighed. Chandler was her best friend, and this was ridiculous. She was in love with him, and she was done pretending it wasn't true. She opened the door quickly and stepped instead, her face set. She was ready to do this.

At the sound of her opening the door, Chandler turned around. His expression immediately became one of confusion.

"Hey," Monica said softly, stepping toward him, closing the door behind her.

"Hey?" Chandler replied cautiously.

"How're you doing?" Monica asked, her voice full of concern.

Chandler looked down at his feet and shrugged. "I'm okay."

Monica narrowed her eyes at him, staring until he looked back up at her.

Monica could read Chandler Bing like a book, and she knew he was lying. And he knew that she knew he was too.

He finally sighed. "It just kind of sucks, I guess. We've lived together for so long; it's gonna be so weird not having him here. I'm really gonna miss it."

Monica nodded and bridged the distance between them so she could rub her arm comfortingly.

Monica suddenly realized that this was the first time that she and Chandler had been alone together since they almost kissed that night about three weeks before.

Chandler froze slightly at her touch, apparently realizing this fact too, so Monica retracted her hand.

Chandler stared at the floor very seriously, and Monica could tell that his mind was racing and that there was something he wanted to say to her. So she waited silently for the inevitable question.

Finally he looked up, hurt evident in his eyes. "Why have you been ignoring me these past two weeks? Did I do something?"

Monica had expected the question, but she hadn't prepared herself for how wounded Chandler looked as he stared at her. She breathed in sharply, promising herself that she would never let herself cause Chandler this much pain again.

"No, no, of course not, Chandler," she said, her hand almost unconsciously moving back to his arm. "You didn't do anything. It was… it was me."

Chandler's expression changed into one of confusion.

Monica sighed, knowing that it was best that she start from the beginning. "Well, you know two weeks ago I was catering for Dr. Burke at that dinner party, and, like Phoebe said, he was flirting with me, and so she asked me if I was interested in him, but-"

"It's okay if you want to date that doctor guy," Chandler interjected, moving his arm out of her grasp, before Monica could finish her thought. "I'm sure he's, um, fine or whatever. Phoebe and Rachel seemed to think he was pretty great…" Chandler turned away from Monica, heading back to his room.

Monica stared at her friend, bemused. Was this what Chandler thought? That she liked Dr. Burke and just didn't want to tell him? She grabbed his hand and turned him back around to face her. "No, Chandler. You have to let me finish."

Confusion reentered her friend's eyes, but he didn't seem as upset as before as he nodded for her to continue.

Monica took another deep breath, noticing faintly that Chandler's hand was still locked in hers. She didn't release it.

"So, Phoebe asked me if I was interested," Monica finally went on, "and I thought about it for a little while, but then I realized I wasn't. I think I _should_ have liked him, I mean he was a handsome, sophisticated older guy who was flirting with me, but I just didn't feel anything. I'd been complaining to Phoebe earlier that night about how I wanted to find my "right guy," and somehow I just knew that Dr. Burke wasn't it. But I didn't have any reason for feeling like that, and it was really bothering me for the rest of that night and the next day." She paused, taking a deep breath. "But then I figured out why I wasn't interested in Dr. Burke, and that's what freaked me out and why I had to stay away from you." Monica looked down at her feet.

"What freaked you out?" she heard Chandler ask in front of her, his tone unsure.

Monica's breath hitched slightly. This was it. "Well, when you suddenly realize that you're in love with someone…" She trailed off and lifted her eyes to meet Chandler's.

Chandler stared back at her, his mouth open and his eyes wide. His lips started moving silently as though he wanted to respond, but couldn't make any words come out. After several failed attempts, a half sentence burst from behind his lips. "In love with someone?"

Monica had to smile slightly. She knew that she would never be able to get over how adorable Chandler was. "Yeah," she replied, almost shrugging. "Is that okay?"

Chandler moved in closer. "Yeah, that's… that's okay." He took her free hand in his. "I'm kind of in love with someone too."

Monica's face lit up. It wasn't just her. Chandler… Chandler was _in love_ with her. "Really?" she broke out.

"Yeah," Chandler said, playing with her hands. "She's my best friend, actually."

Monica's smile grew, if possible, wider. "Yeah, mine too." She squeezed his hands lightly. "What's her name?"

Chandler smirked for a moment, his eyes twinkling. "Betty. You?"

Monica narrowed her eyes as something stirred in the back of her mind. Memories floated around her head.

_Phoebe was singing at the coffee house. "There was a girl, we'll call her Betty, and a guy, let's call him Neil."_

_Monica was staring incredulously at Chandler from their couch in the coffee house as he flashed obviously fake puppy-dog eyes at her. "You're my Betty, Monica. I'm your Neil."_

_She and Chandler were standing in the kitchen as Chandler beat himself up over his stupid list idea that broke up Ross and Rachel before they had even gotten together. Monica was trying to make him feel better, and then he was apologizing for putting her on the spot in the coffee house. _

"_So we're all good, _Betty_?" he'd said._

"_We're all good, _Neil_," Monica had replied._

Monica shook her head at Chandler, as she began to laugh. "Oh, Neil."

Chandler grinned and leaned in toward her as Monica met him halfway.

Monica felt Chandler's arms wrap around her back as their lips met for the second time in their lives. Her hands moved behind Chandler's head as she pressed herself even closer to him. Somehow the memory of their first kiss didn't do kissing Chandler justice. Last time they had both been hesitant, putting on an act for the sake of their friends, but this was different. This was perfect. This was Chandler, and Monica was in love with him. She knew at that moment that her best friend, this amazing man that had just told her that he was in love with her, was the only guy she ever wanted to kiss again.

They finally broke apart, Monica's hands trailing down Chandler's arms so their fingers could interlock once again. She was fairly certain that nothing could remove the grin that was plastered across her face.

Chandler in front of her looked as though he felt the same. He lifted a hand and let it rest on Monica's cheek. "I've wanted to do that again for such a long time."

"Yeah, me too." Monica leaned her head into his hand. "You're a really good kisser."

Chandler adopted his usual sarcastic grin. "Well, I _have_ kissed over _four_ women."

Monica laughed as she threw her arms around him and pulled him into a hug. "I've missed you so much," she said softly into his shoulder as his arms pulled her close to him. "I mean, if that makes any sense."

Chandler let go of her and moved back so she could see his face. "It makes sense." He brushed a strand of hair out of her face and leaned in to kiss her again.

Monica wondered for a moment if every kiss was going to be this perfect. She sighed slightly, melting into Chandler's arms. She could _really_ get used to this.

They broke apart again, and Monica settled into Chandler's chest, his head perched on top of hers and his arms wrapped around her.

"How long have you known that you wanted… this," Monica asked curiously as she played with the hem of Chandler's t-shirt.

She felt the soft rumble of Chandler's laughter in response to her question. "Remember that night I walked home in socks, panties, and a bathroom stall door?" he replied.

Monica laughed into his chest at the memory, pulling back slightly and looking up so she could see his face.

Chandler was glaring at her for laughing, but Monica didn't believe he was angry for a second. The corners of his mouth were twitching, and he had that joking Chandler twinkle in his eyes.

Monica raised her eyebrows at him until his finally caved and smiled.

"Anyway," he said, shifting his hands behind her back so that she was pressed closer to him. "I realized on the way home that night that I had been so stupid to think that Susie was the perfect woman for me when I had already had the perfect woman in front of me the whole time." Chandler moved a hand up to stroke Monica's cheek gently.

Monica was about to kiss him again because he was amazing and wonderful and thought she was perfect, but she saw his eyes grow cloudy, and his hand fell from her face.

"I'm so sorry for not helping you out that week with your whole fight with Rachel," he said, emotion evident in his voice and his eyes turned toward the floor. "I was so wrapped up in my own stuff that I had no idea you even had a problem. I should have been there for you, and I wasn't, and I'm just such an idiot-"

Monica moved a hand up to his lips to silence him. "Hey. It's okay. You didn't do anything wrong. You had your thing, and I had mine. There was no reason that you had to be there for me."

Chandler moved away from her, running his hands through his hair. "But there was. I'm supposed to help you out whenever stuff like that happens. That's what we do for each other, and I let you down."

Monica shook her head and stared down at the floor. "If anyone let anyone else down, it's me. I basically just ignored you for two straight weeks while you had to deal with Joey moving out, and I know you had a rough week at work last week too. I'm just so sorry, Chandler. I was so confused, but that's not even close to being a good enough excuse."

She felt Chandler's fingers lace through hers, as Chandler's other hand tilted her chin back so she would meet his eyes.

"You're not confused anymore though, are you?" he asked, his expression completely serious as he stared down at her.

Monica smiled as she moved her hands to Chandler's back. "Not even a little bit," she replied. "I love you, Chandler."

The smile that lit up Chandler's face at her words was larger than any she had ever seen on him before. "I love you too, Monica."

Monica was fairly certain that her grin matched Chandler's as their lips met again. He _loved_ her! _Chandler_ loved her! And she loved him. And everything was perfect.

"Hey Chandler, you doing oka- hey guys… What's goin' on?"

Chandler and Monica jumped apart, their eyes immediately flying to the source the voice that had interrupted them.

Phoebe was standing at the door beaming at them, looking absolutely thrilled. "Nice to see you guys figured some stuff out."

The pair grinned sheepishly.

"I'm going to assume that Chandler's doing just fine at the moment," Phoebe said, backing out the door. "I'll see you two later." She winked at them and went to close the door behind her.

Before the door could shut, Chandler called out after her. "Hey, Pheebs."

Phoebe turned back to him, her eyebrows raised.

"Thank you," Chandler said simply.

Phoebe grinned hugely at them. "See, I knew it was gonna happen." She turned to Monica. "Didn't I say right after you guys kissed at the coffee house that that wasn't just a harmless kiss between friends?" She glanced back at Chandler. "And all I can say to _you_ is that I told you so."

Monica rolled her eyes at her friend, laughing. "Okay, Pheebs, go. Thanks for everything, but go."

Phoebe almost started bouncing as she smiled at them before finally waving and walking out of the apartment, closing the door behind her.

Monica turned back to Chandler, both of them laughing and shaking their heads at their friend. Monica offered him a half smile. "So, where were we?"

Chandler grinned and pulled her back to him.

And somehow that kiss was even better than the one before it.

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><p><em>AN: Thanks so much for reading! Epilogue will be up before Christmas, I promise!_


	9. Epilogue

_A/N: Well, we've finally made it to the end! Please enjoy._

_Disclaimer: I don't own _Friends.

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><p>Chandler and Monica strolled down the New York City street hand in hand, a comfortable silence washing over them as they made their way back to the coffee house where they were going to meet their friends.<p>

He and Monica had been together for two weeks now, and Chandler was the happiest he had been in his entire life. Every day he fell more and more in love with the most beautiful woman he had ever known, and he was pretty sure that Monica felt the same way. Chandler spent every second he could with Monica; all he wanted to do was make up for all the months or even years that they could have spent together, had they actually managed to figure things out earlier. Regardless of the time it had taken, everything had finally come together, and things were amazing. Chandler and Monica had already been so close that actually dating hadn't been too much of a change for them. Of course, Chandler was still kicking himself for going so many years without kissing Monica Geller, but he couldn't really do anything about that at this point.

When Monica had come back to make sure that he was okay and then confessed that she was in love with him, Chandler had been simultaneously shocked and elated. Monica actually loving him back was the last thing he had ever expected, but it had happened, and the months of worry and confusion that Chandler had gone through to get to that point had all but vanished in that instant. Monica was everything he wanted and everything he needed, and now they were together, and Chandler's life was nothing short of perfect.

As the pair turned a corner, Chandler squeezed Monica's hand, and she stopped abruptly, turning and kissing him quickly, a small smile playing on her lips.

Chandler couldn't prevent a goofy grin from appearing on his face as Monica kissed him. He practically melted into a puddle every time she did, which had, thankfully, been a lot since they had admitted their feelings toward one another two weeks before.

Monica turned and tugged on his arm slightly to get him to start walking with her up the street again. She leaned into him slightly, a contented sigh escaping her lips.

Chandler knew exactly how she felt.

"Monica! Chandler!" a voice came from up ahead of them.

Chandler moved his eyes up the sidewalk until they fell on a small dark haired woman that he hadn't seen in months.

"Julie!" Monica said, her voice riddled with fake enthusiasm. Julie _was_ her brother's ex-girlfriend, after all. This wasn't going to be the most comfortable of situations for any of them.

"I'm so happy to see you guys!" Julie said excitedly as she reached them. She smiled down at their entwined hands. "And it's so great to see that you're still together."

Chandler laughed awkwardly. Julie was still under the very false impression that he and Monica had been dating since November. "Yeah… it's really been a long time now."

Monica nodded, similarly trying to keep up the façade. "Yep, I can barely remember when I _wasn't_ dating Chandler."

Julie looked thrilled at Monica's words, but Chandler couldn't help but feel bad. He sighed. It was time to come clean.

"Actually, Julie," Chandler said with a side-glance at his girlfriend. "We have to tell you something."

Beside him, Monica sighed too and then nodded.

Julie tilted her head to the side slightly, confused.

Chandler continued. "That day in the coffee house in November, I said that Phoebe's song was about me and Monica, but it wasn't." He stopped.

Julie stared at him. "I don't understand."

"There wasn't actually anything going on with us back then," Chandler elaborated. "Monica and I didn't want to be together, and that kiss was just to try to get you to think that we did. It wasn't real. We've actually only been dating for two weeks now."

He squeezed Monica's hand lightly, and she pressed his in response.

Julie continued to stare at them blankly.

No one spoke for a moment.

"Oh," Julie said finally in a quiet voice. "Well, you had me convinced."

Chandler glanced down at Monica who looked back up at him, a small smile on her face. That fake admission of love and that kiss had changed so many things in he and Monica's lives. He laughed quietly. "Yeah, us too."

Julie's brow furrowed in confusion. "Wait, if the song wasn't about you guys, then who was it about?"

All color drained from Chandler's face as he suddenly realized the situation that he and Monica were in. Phoebe's song had been about Ross kissing Rachel when he was still dating Julie… a fact that Chandler really did not want to be responsible for informing Ross's ex-girlfriend about.

"You know, on second though," Chandler said slowly, already beginning to move up the street, "it really was about us the whole time. See you later, Julie!"

Chandler immediately turned and walked as quickly up the street as he could without running, Monica half a step behind, still holding onto his hand.

He glanced back for half a second to see Julie standing in the middle of the sidewalk staring after them, forlorn.

Chandler finally let himself breathe as he and Monica turned onto their street and slowed their pace back to normal.

Monica let out a laugh that she had evidently been holding in since they left Julie. "You really are terrible at keeping your mouth shut," she said, grinning widely.

Chandler shoved her shoulder playfully. "You know, we wouldn't be together if it wasn't for my inability to keep my mouth shut."

Monica smiled up at him. "I guess that's true." She stopped him again and pulled him down for a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Chandler replied, almost skipping as they continued to walk up the street.

As Chandler finally let go of Monica's hand to open the door to the coffee house for her, he couldn't help but grin in spite of his big mouth and poor, confused Julie. The way Monica smiled at him as he took her coat and hung it up for her was the most beautiful sight he had ever seen.

This was his life now, stupid decisions and all.

And he wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

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><p><em>AN: And there it is. It's crazy that I'm finally done with this. It's taken 3 months (which is at least a month longer than it should have taken), but I'm so incredibly happy to have been able to finish this story. Figuring out chapter plots kept me sane during classes this past semester, and looking forward to writing at the end of a tough week or two was such a great thing to be able to do. This is undoubtedly my favorite thing that I've ever written. Of course, the best part was that a lot of the cute Chandler/Monica scenes in most of the earlier chapters were already in the show, and I just added bits and pieces to them. Pre-Mondler is such a great thing to work with._

_I cannot thank every single one of you fantastic reviewers enough for all of your wonderful comments on this story (and shout out to Phoebe in her review for the last chapter for suggesting that Julie be in this chapter, which had been my plan for this epilogue for over a month now). It's such an amazing thing to know that people actually have been enjoying what I've been writing, in this story and in any of the ones I wrote this past summer. I still have a word document filled with little Mondler fic ideas (nothing on the scale of this story though), so hopefully I'll get to write at least a few of those at some point in the future, but my next project is going to a _Parks and Rec_ fic that I've been outlining for the past couple weeks (so if any of you are _Parks_ fans, check that out sometime in the near future)._

_It's kind of bittersweet to be writing my last author's note for this fic, but all I can say is thank you. You all are seriously the best ever. _


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